Don't You
by Panny
Summary: Picks up where the movie left off. Everyone deals with changing views of the world around them, and deciding how much they'll allow peer pressure affect friendship. on Hiatus
1. When the Light Gets Into Your Heart

**Don't You **

Chapter One:_ When The Light Gets Into Your Heart_

"...So I turned myself to face me,  
but I've never caught a glimpse of  
how the others must see the faker.  
I'm much too fast to take that test..."

The sun rose over Shermer Illinois as it always did, it's light reflecting off the cars traveling down Shermer Road. Brian Johnson, Shermer High student and "brain", watched the skies hue change with the dawn of a new day. He sighed deeply from his position on the living room couch.

"Are you still up?" His father asked, walking through in his bathrobe. Brian merely nodded. "You know Son, it's not good to stress yourself out like this. I know you're upset about this detention thing and all but as long as you straighten up now you'll be fine."

Brian nodded again. "I know Dad. I'm fine, really."

"Okay." Mr. Johnson patted his son's head and ruffled his hair lightly. "Now I'm going back to bed. I suggest you do the same."

'_Yeah, right._' Brian thought solemnly. He knew there would be no sleep for him that night, or the next for that matter. So much had happened the day before, it was impossible for his mind to rest. He was afraid to go to school in some ways. It had never been something he looked forward to, but the events of the next day were certain to be of importance and that made him nervous.

He had sworn not to ignore any of the friends he had made in the library prison that they had shared and he didn't plan to. But what if Claire had been right? He couldn't face the humiliation if they ignored him, or even worse insulted him while he stood there. His reputation was already at the bottom of the barrel, any lower and he'd disappear completely.

~~~

As the same sun rose in a different area of town, John Bender stepped out into the brisk cold air and quickly headed down the street. He had to leave early in the mornings to avoid his father and mother. That was why it didn't bother him so much to have to go to school on Saturdays. Then he didn't have to explain why he'd been gone all day "avoiding all the work that needs to be done."

Saturday detention. He'd faced it many times but the last one was different. Maybe it was coincidence, all their problems piling on until each one of them broke on the same day, in the same room. Or maybe it was the weed. He laughed inwardly. Whether it was fate or something else, they had all opened up. But was that really such a good idea? He'd walked home that day thinking that maybe things could change. If five "kids" could change all of their views and perceptions in a single day, maybe other things could change as well. Then he got home, and those feelings were shattered as he watched his father wail on his mother. His parents couldn't open up to each other, and he certainly couldn't open up to them. And now he'd have to face four people who knew his secret.

He had been so stupid to say those things. But Andrew had just pissed him off so much, Bender couldn't help showing him how much worse it could be. What if they told someone? Things were bad at home but he didn't want some social services group snooping around. Then everyone in town would know what really happened in the Bender house. His reputation would be shot, and suddenly everyone would see him as a helpless child. What would Vernon say? Maybe if everyone was suddenly worried about Bender, they might believe him about what happened in the closet. Man how he'd love to nail Vernon like that.

But for all he knew there would be no change. Claire had said it herself that they wouldn't remain friends the next day and who was he to doubt that. He lifted his hand to finger the diamond stud that looked so out of place in his ear. But there was always a chance... He scoffed at the thought. No, that Princess was just looking for fun the day before and she'd hardly glance his way on Monday, and he'd be sure to do the same.

~~~

Day broke in full over the next few hours while Brian continued to watch. His mother stared at him from the bottom of the steps for a moment before confronting him.

"You know you could at least be studying." She chided, catching his attention. "You wasted all day yesterday with that damned detention of yours, I won't see you waste all of today moping about." She added some cheer to the end of her sentence, trying not to sound too angry. But as Brian only stared at her silently, as if waiting for her to go away, she found herself unable to brighten her mood. Her lips tightened and she shook her head slowly with annoyance.

"Now you listen to me Brian Johnson. You do not ignore your mother." Brian continued to stare. "I don't know what's gotten into you but I won't have my son turn into some hooligan, slacking off and playing around."

"Playing around?!" Brian yelled back, so surprised by his own outburst that his voice squeaked. "Playing around? You, you have no idea, do you? You think when I do anything other than studying I'm 'playing around' but it doesn't work that way. I work hard. Real hard. All you ever tell me is study, study, study, and that's all I do. And I deserve a break sometimes!"

His mother stared at him in shock, desperate to scold her son but unable to form the words. Brian bit the inside of his lip, wanting so much to continue, and let everything out. Tell her the real reason he was in detention was because her overbearing behavior had forced him to bring a gun to school. Oh, that would just knock her off her feet. He couldn't help chuckling a little at the thought.

"Oh you think this is funny?" His mother asked clearly, having found her voice. "Nearly gave your mother a heart attack, jumping at me like that, and you think it's funny. Honestly." She drifted away, obviously unable to retaliate against her sons complaints. Brian sat back near tears of frustration and also release. He had never stood up to his parents before and it was almost exhilarating, but for the small sinking feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach. He briefly thought about Andrew, who faced similar problems with his father. He had been the bravest, Brian thought. He was the first to show his true side, and how he really felt. He'd given Brian the strength to do the same.

~~~

But perhaps too much strength was drawn from Andrew Clark as he now lay across a weight bench while his father spotted his reps.

"What's wrong with you Son? You're not in it today. Your moves are weak and clumsy. You've got a match in less than a week and I won't have you wussing out on me now. I want you in top form."

Andrew nodded shakily and put the barbell back into place, then sat up. His father came over to sit alongside him.

"You now how important this is, right? I know you think you're young and you can still slack off, but those college recruiters will be here before you know it. You've got to have a perfect record when they do Boy. That's why you've got to win!" He slapped his son on the back with a laugh. "Now come on, lets head outside for some laps before we go home. And make sure you towel off first, it's still chilly out."

Tossing Andrew a towel he headed out of the weight room of the Chicago City Gym. Andy looked at the thin white towel and grit his teeth. He quickly ran the cloth around the back of his neck and over his arms, knowing there was still a good deal of sweat on his body. But he didn't care, because if he was sick, it might give him the chance to miss the match. Although his father would just drive him harder for the next one.

He'd considered just coming home on Saturday and saying "Dad, I quit" but the moment they were in the truck his father was going on about the next match, and school rivalries, and how things had been when he was in school. He watched his father smile as he talked about his win last week, and then realized there was no way he could quit. The only time his father had looked on him with any kind of pride was when he was a winner. He was afraid of what might happen if he lost that.

Begrudgingly he walked out onto the field and began to trot along the track while his father egged him on. He hated that his father was more like a trainer than a Dad, but at least he was there.

~~~

Allison stared into the mirror, her own somber expression staring back at her. With a puff of air she blew her bangs away from her eyes for a brief moment. They still looked puffy, though not as red as they'd been earlier.

Walking out she went down the hall and down to the first floor, making her way into the dining room of her house and stared at her mother who was setting the table for what appeared to be a big dinner.

"Who's coming over?" she asked meekly. It wasn't often that she took the time to speak to her parents, because she knew there'd be no answer. Her mother continued as if she couldn't hear her daughter over the sound of clinking silverware. Sighing, Allison walked towards the kitchen where her father was on the phone.

"Yes yes, that right." He said to whomever was on the line. "No, not tonight. The museum curator's coming by to look at those pieces we picked up while in Europe..."

Allison had nearly forgotten about the trip her parents had taken in January. They hadn't even told her they were going. She just woke to find them both gone and an envelope of cash on the kitchen table. Strangely though, that envelope had been a source of comfort to her. It was proof that her parents knew she existed.

Allison slowly trudged back to the bathroom and looked back at the mirror. Her hair was a mess, moreso than it usually was when she went out. Apathetically she grabbed a brush and ran it through her hair, feeling the strands as they pulled on her scalp. In the hamper next to her was the pale pink top she had worn home the day before. Allison smiled.

She could clearly remember Andy's eyes and the way they closed so slowly when he reached to kiss her. He'd given her her first kiss, or should she say kisses, the day before. And he, along with the others, gave her the strength to change. She'd watched her parents as she got in the car and smiled as her mother looked at her in the rearview mirror, paying her attention for the first time in years.

It hurt so much for her parents to ignore her, so a while back she started to act out. She couldn't count the number of things she'd stolen, just waiting to be caught so her parents would HAVE to come for her. But either she was good, or no one cared, because she was never caught. In desperation she had lied and told her parents she had detention to get them to notice. She had at least succeeded in getting them to drive her to school together. And her impromptu makeover had at least made her mother take notice. Looking again at the pink top she nodded her head with a new determination.

Heading back downstairs she went into the now empty kitchen and pulled the phone book out from the second drawer of the phone table. She opened it to the residential numbers and looked up the name Standish. Luckily there were only three, and her luck rang true again when she got the right number on her first try.

"Hello, Standish residence." A female voice answered. Allison cleared her throat to fight back her nerves.

"Hi. I'm looking for Claire Standish."

"Just a minute." Allison could hear the woman call for Claire and a few moments later she heard a click, followed by Claire's voice.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Claire? It's Allison."

"Oh." She paused for a second. "Hi."

"I'm sorry to call you so suddenly..." Allison's voice trailed off.

"This is where you tell me why you called." Claire laughed.

"I just... Couldn't take the silence."

The two continued an awkward conversation until Claire heard a knock at her door.

"Allison? I gotta go."

"Yeah."

"Bye."

"Oh, hold on." Allison interrupted."My parents are having a dinner tonight. Do you think I should eat with them?"

Claire glanced at the door. "Well, yeah. Why wouldn't you?" The door knocked again. "Sorry but I really gotta go. Bye"

Claire waited for a response, but after a few seconds of silence she hung up and ran to get the door. Her mother stood in the hallway, a stern look on her face.

"You're father's working late again tonight. I'll be ordering dinner in half an hour." Her mother's face lightened up. "We can get whatever you want, okay sweetie?"

Claire shrugged apathetically. "You can choose. I really don't care."

"All right, I'll order us some veggie wraps. Got to stay in shape, haven't we dear?" She nudged Claire gently, then left. Rolling her eyes Claire shut the door and stared at the phone.

She didn't expect be getting calls from the friends she'd made in detention, especially not Allison who was such an introvert it was a shock for her to make any noise, never mind speak. Why had she called? They hadn't talked about anything in particular, just a few fashion things which seemed out of character for Allison. Then again after Claire had given her that makeover she probably just wanted tips on how to keep her new look.

Would she keep the look? And would Claire acknowledge it on Monday? It was a question she woke up with that morning. On Saturday she'd told all of them that they wouldn't remain friends, but then something changed. She didn't know what had done it exactly, but all of a sudden she thought their friendship would be worth fighting for and for the rest of the night she felt like they would keep it, like there was hope for them. But when she woke up the next morning, reality hit and she knew how hard it would be. She could stay in touch with Andy no problem, she had already known him before hand, so it wouldn't seem odd. But how could she hang out with a nerd like Brian, or Allison who was known as the school freak? And then there was Bender, or should she call him John? What would her friends say if they saw her with the school junkie?

But, if anyone, Bender was the one Claire was willing to make the sacrifice for. She had seen him around school before and he'd intrigued her then, while getting on her nerves at the same time by doing his best to ruin school for the people in her social circle. When she'd seen him walk in on Saturday morning she thought he'd make the day absolutely miserable, and in some ways he did, but he had opened up like the rest of them. He showed her that he didn't screw around to hurt other people but just to have fun himself, and with a life like his he needed to have fun somewhere. He still pissed her off, but it was different, especially at the end of the day. The things he said and did, they were aimed at the way she felt and the fears she had, about being seen as a prissy "daddy's girl", or being another sheep in the flock. What he said was true, and hearing it out loud made it all the more real to her.

She had always heard that there was something about the bad boy that attracts the good girl, and she understood the saying now. Though she wasn't a prude as he'd called her, she wasn't big into dating and guys like the rest of her friends were. None of them really excited her, mentally, emotionally, or physically. But John Bender did all three, and that was why she'd gone to the closet in the end, to give him her first true kiss.

Claire bit her lip, feeling somewhat silly thinking about these things, and once her memories were interrupted, her worries returned. She wanted to see them all on Monday, and greet them with a smile, but could she? And if she could, would they return it? Allison would. She'd shown that by having the courage to call. Glancing at the phone again, Claire wondered how Allison was doing at home.

~~~

"Now this one you really must see.." Mrs. Reynolds voice carried through the house. "It's a beautiful, hand carved wooden amulet. I found it in the smallest little pawn shop, and darned if I know how they got their hands on it. All I know is it was a great deal."

"Yes indeed." John Rhyse, a curator from the local city museum, stated, eyeing the piece. "You've got great taste. I'll have you working at the museum eventually."

Allison's mother laughed in a tone that grated her ears. At the top of her steps the shy teen sat, listening to her parents boast about their collection. They'd be eating dinner soon and she had to time herself perfectly or she might look out of place. She heard a dull buzzing.

"Oh, there's the roast. Please, join my husband in the dining room. I'll be right there."

The three gathered around the large cherry wood dining table where Mrs. Reynolds had prepared an extravagant meal. Biting her lip, Allison made her way down the steps and into the dining room. Both her parents looked at her in shock.

"Is this little Ally?" The curator greeted. "Why I haven't seen you since you were this tall." He gestured to his waste. "It seems that you're always out when I come to visit. Oh to be young again."

'_Not out_' Allison thought. '_Just shut away, avoiding the world_.' She suddenly wished she hadn't come down. Her parents had seemed perfectly content to have her stay in her room before. What would they do now?

After an awkward silence, her mother interjected. "Well, now that we're all here, let's eat." She discreetly put out another plate while watching her daughter, who was wearing clothes she hadn't seen since they were bought. Her hair was pushed away from her face, and her mother way amazed to see how much older she truly looked. Allison gave her mother a weak smile and began to eat.

~~~

"Brian?"

His mother tapped lightly on his door and waited for him to open it. Brain sat on the other side, not moving. Knowing her son well enough, she spoke through the door.

"Honey, I'm sorry about earlier. You know I'm just looking out for you. Your father worked hard to get where he is today. Just because we have all we need now, it doesn't mean you'll always have that in life. I just want you to be prepared so you can make a good living for yourself... But whether or not I pushed you does not excuse the way you spoke to me. Now I came here to make amends, and I expect an apology from you too."

Knowing he hadn't handled things well that morning Brian apologized solemnly and waited for his mother to leave. He stood by the window and looked out at the now dark sky. There was something about watching the world make a complete circle that put things in perspective. He was still nervous about going back to school, but he knew there were bigger problems in life, and he shouldn't waste so much time on something that would happen as it wanted to no matter what.

Suddenly the effect of having stayed up all night caught up with him and his eye lids grew heavy. Setting his alarm clock and checking his bag for the next day, he lay down in the same clothes he'd worn since the night before. Before he knew it, he was waking to David Bowie's "Changes" on the radio.


	2. Will You Recognize Me? Part 1

**Don't You **

Chapter Two:_ Will You Recognize Me? Part One_

Claire woke to the sound of rain pelting down on the roof of her house. Rolling over she looked out at the gray sky as water rolled down the window pane. "How appropriate," she thought, pulling the covers around her tightly. "Maybe if I just stay here..."

"Claire. What are you doing? You're alarm went off over half an hour ago."

Groggily Claire squeezed her eyes, then opened them, trying to focus on her mother. "Mm. Sorry Mom. Guess I fell back asleep."

"Well I _guess_ you better get up. We're leaving in twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes? But that hardly gives me any time to get ready."

"Well you should have thought of that earlier. It's bad enough you were in detention this week. How am I supposed to explain my daughter turning into a delinquent? Now get up. I won't have you getting in to school late."

'_Yeah, how do _you_ explain?_' Claire thought to herself. Her mother's concern had nothing to do with wanting her to do well. No, it was all about maintaining her image as a socialite with a perfect home and family. Never mind the fact that her father hadn't even bothered to come home the night before. '_He's probably off with some other woman, and I can't say I blame him._' Claire mused. She glanced up at her mother who seemed to be waiting for an answer.

"I'll be ready in twenty."

With a quick nod her mother was gone and Claire sat up. Not eager to get to school anytime soon she moved deliberately slowly, making sure to use every second of the twenty minutes she had been given.

Stepping into the tub for a quick shower -she hated to rush in the shower- she let her mind dwell on the questions that continued to plague her. She had already spent so much time worrying about what this day would bring that it seemed silly to put any more time into it, but it was the only thing she could think about.

After about fifteen minutes she shut the water off and stepped out, pulling on a pink terrycloth robe. She headed back into her bedroom and sat down, glancing at her open closet. Too distracted to pick out her clothes individually she chose one of the outfits her father had bought her on his last business trip.

"Claire! It's time to go!"

"Yeah!"

Quickly drying off she threw on her clothes and grabbed her bag. Not wanting her mother to start arguing with her she ran down the steps to make it seem like she'd actually been rushing. She quickly stopped at the bottom to pull her shoes from the rack they were resting on.

"You're going like that?" Her mother questioned critically.

"I'll do my hair in the car." She answered. "And I can do my makeup at my locker."

Sighing, Mrs. Standish opened the door and left the house, Claire following behind.

They ran quickly to the car and got inside where it was still chilly from the night before. Shivering a bit because she was still wet, Claire buckled her seat belt, then opened her bag. She shuffled through it's contents until she found her brush and began working on her hair.

"What happened to that travel blow dryer your father got you?"

"I dunno. It's packed away somewhere. I don't really need it anyway."

"Nonsense. Your hair will be a mess all day if you don't dry it."

"Well it's too late now, isn't it?" Claire snapped back. Exasperated, she put her brush away and stared out the window. 

Shermer always seemed like an isolated little town, rather than a part of a big city. On days like today it seemed even smaller and more desolate. They passed by mostly empty streets. A boy ran by, his dog pulling him along. Up ahead a figure was walking, slightly hunched over in the rain. As they drove by Claire caught of glimpse of a man wearing a gray coat that seemed very familiar, though she couldn't make it out clearly through her fogged window.

'_Was that...?_'

Turning around she looked out the back windshield. His hair hung wet, blocking out his face. She squinted as if it might make his face clearer, but gave up as he faded out of sight. Not wanting to draw her mother's attention, Claire turned back around to face forward.

The rest of the ride went by in stilled silence. When they arrived at the school Claire got out wordlessly. She was about to walk away but a twinge of guilt hit her and she turned around.

"Good-bye Mom."

"So long Dear. Don't do anything to embarrass either of us today."

Claire straightened up and backed away as the BMW drove off. Had her mother really just said that? Thinking on it she realized that little comments like those had been commonly spoken, she just hadn't noticed them before. She had simply accepted them as the norm, until she was finally able to tell someone what her life was like, and accept that it was so different from others.

Turning back again she faced the front steps of Shermer High School. Looking at it's bland exterior she couldn't help seeing it differently than she had on the Friday before, but the familiarity of it was also overpowering. Everything was as it was before. The same students and teachers she had walked passed hundreds of times went by as they normally did. She wanted so much to be among the masses again where she could move through school comfortably. She wanted to walk up the steps and greet her friends as if nothing had happened but she couldn't do that. Even though she had so casually stated that she'd ignore the friendships born in detention, it made her stomach ache to think of doing that; being a total bitch to the only people to look past her exterior to see who she truly was. A pack of football players rushed past, a few waving hello to her and some of the other more popular students in the area. She waved back timidly. It felt strange to be the only one to see things so differently.

Realizing she was still standing in the rain,Claire ran up the stairs and down the hall until she reached her locker. She quickly opened it and looked in the mirror she had hung inside the door.

"Ugh. I'm a wreck." She pulled at her limp hair and watched it fall flat. On what felt to her like an important day back, she did not want to look like this. She pulled a makeup kit out of her locker, then slammed it shut.

Doing her best to avoid being seen, Claire made her way to the bathroom and proceeded to rebrush her hair and put her makeup on. When she was done her face looked as it always did, and her hair, though still flat, was at least styled. Taking a deep breath she ventured back out into the hall and to her locker. There was a good deal of students standing around the hall by now, including several of her friends; Mary, Ashley and Katie.

"Hey Claire." They greeted. She smiled back at them halfheartedly.

"So how was it being in The Breakfast Club?"

The Breakfast Club. It was a term a lot of students in the area used for morning and weekend detention. She had never even spoken those words prior to the past weekend, but now they held such meaning.

"It wasn't bad. Mr. Vernon wanted us to write a 1000 word essay." Claire answered. She began to walk to class and the other three followed.

"Seriously? As if being in school on a Saturday wasn't bad enough. So did you do it?"

"Uh, no. Actually Brian did."

"Brian?" Her friends looked at her curiously. Claire swallowed hard.

"Brian Johnson."

"Hey I know him." One of her friends piped up. "He's this total dweeb in Jason's shop class. Jason told me he failed some assignment and actually started crying."

"Seriously?" Another friend interjected. "That is so lame."

While the three of them discussed Brian's faults and and Ashley's relationship with Jason, Claire remained silent. She wanted to defend Brian, and tell them what a great person he really was, but there didn't seem to be a point. It wouldn't change what they thought and he wasn't around to hear it either.

"So you actually got him to write your paper?"

"Uh yeah." Claire answered absentmindedly. Down the hall she could see Andrew and his friends approaching. He smiled as he passed and she smiled back warmly.

"Was that Andrew Clark?" Mary asked, falling back to walk alongside Claire.

"Yeah."

"Are you you like boyfriend-girlfriend?"

Claire almost stopped in her tracks, thinking Bender had suddenly joined the conversation. She glanced around to reassure herself that it was indeed Mary who had asked.

"No, we're just friends."

"Oh,good. I think Jenny would kill you if you went for him. She's been eyeing him for the past week."

Up ahead Jennifer, who had apparently joined the group while Claire was distracted, was giggling about how "her Andy" had smiled at her. Claire couldn't help laughing inside.

Reaching her class, Claire bid good-bye to her friends and went inside. She took her usual seat, three rows from the front, and pulled out her books.

While she waited for the teacher to arrive, she looked around at the other students. She mentally categorized them into the same terms she'd used before and couldn't help but notice how everyone stuck to their own group. 

Then she started to notice other things she'd never seen before. A brain and a jock with the same Prince pin. Would the two acknowledge the similarity in tastes? Could a friendship be born from such a connection? She was certain it could, but she also knew it'd never happen. It took extreme circumstances to make she and the others break the boundaries of social status, and she wasn't even sure that change could be maintained. 

Her teacher, Mr. Abramson, a lanky man with thinning hair, walked in holding a large stack of papers. "All right class." He called out, drawing their attention. "Put your things away and let's get this over with."

Claire groaned, having forgotten about having to take a test. She'd planned to study the day before but ended up being far too distracted. Hoping for the best she put her bag under her desk and pulled out a pen.

~~~~~

Allison walked towards her second period class apprehensively. No one had paid her any mind in her last class but she still felt nervous. She didn't look all that different than she had any other day. Her clothes were still dark and muted, and they hung loosely, hiding her from everyone. But she had pulled her hair back as Claire had done on Saturday, exposing her face to the rest of the world. She had also decided not to wear her "black shit" on her eyes today, since it looked decidedly odd when they weren't covered by hair.

She wasn't seeking the approval of her classmates. They'd never paid her mind before, and if they suddenly did now, it would be for the wrong reasons. But there was one person she hoped would see her. She'd pass by Andrew and his friends after fourth period. They always hung out near the stairwell to the gym and she'd walked past them dozens of times without a second glance.

"Allison?"

Shocked, she spun around and found Brian walking towards her. Suddenly embarrassed at having changed her look to fit the societal mold, she bit her lip and shied away.

"Are you on your way to class?" He asked nonchalantly. No one around seemed to notice the two conversing. She nodded silently. Realizing she was too uncomfortable to talk, Brian spoke again.

"W-what class are you going to? I have math right now, and after that I have English, then free study so I'm going to help Ms. Kralky set up the physics lab." He looked to Allison for a response but she only stared. "Uh, where's your class? If it's not too far we can walk together. My teacher won't mind if I'm a little late because I'm early every other day... Kind of lame, huh?"

Allison smiled and shook her head. "It's on the second floor... Above the cafeteria." Brian nodded and smiled back, then started walking. A few moments later she followed behind.

~~~~~

"What's up Dick?" Bender greeted sarcastically, giving his head a slight toss that let a few drops of water fly at the vice principal. Vernon wiped his lapel with obvious distaste.

"What's up is that it's nearly fourth period and you're just walking in now, soaking wet no less."

"What can I say? It was raining." He smirked and glanced down the hall to see if anyone else was around.

"Yes, well I'm sure the janitors will appreciate that observation. You can't keep this behavior up you know."

"What are you gonna do, add on another detention?" He glared at the man many would call his enemy. He was walking on thin ice and he knew it. The halls were empty and Vernon had already made it clear that he wouldn't be above attacking one of his own students.

"You better watch it Mister..." Vernon warned, shaking his finger at his by far least favorite student. Knowing he couldn't do anything, at least not on school property, he blew past Bender and disappeared down the hall. Moments later the bell rang and the halls were flooded with Shermer students.

John quickly took off down the hall, catching sight of his friends ahead. As he was about to greet them, another familiar face appeared.

"Hey John." Brian greeted.

Caught off guard Bender glanced at his friends before answering. "Hey."

"So how was your Sunday? Did your Dad like, punish you or anything? Because, you know, you can tell me."

Bender scoffed nervously, knowing his friends were close enough to hear as they approached him. "I don't know what you're talking about Man. My old man tries anything on me I 'd just kick his ass." A couple of his friends laughed encouragingly.. Brian stood confused.

"But you said... What about the burn?"

"You believed that? Nah man, old Sporto was right, all just part of the image." He gave a small laugh but felt his stomach clench as Brian's face fell.

"Yo Bender, what's he talkin' about."

"Nothin' man." He wanted this conversation over; now.

"Seriously." His friend continued. "What's up?"

"I told you it's nothing."

"He's got a burn... On his arm." Brian answered quietly. Realizing he couldn't get around it any longer, Bender slid off his coat and lifted his sleeve.

"I caught it on a fence." He told them.

"That ain't like you Man. I've seen you hop fences like nothing else."

"Yeah, well I had a cop behind me so..." He smiled while his friends laughed again. Brian stood stoically, obviously upset. Feeling bad, John turned to him. "Yo Bri, we're going out for a bit... You wanna come?"

Brian looked at the schools criminal in shock, as did the rest of his friends. Not willing to take no for an answer John put his arm around Brian and headed towards the nearest exit.

"What if we get caught? And besides, it's raining outside. I really don't think we should cut class like this fellas." Brian muttered nervously.

"Man, what a total dweeb."

"Hey, knock it off!" Bender shot back, throwing his friend a glare that told him he was serious. "He's cool, all right?" His friends nodded.

They walked silently out in the rain, crossing the football field until one of them, a taller student who looked less menacing than Bender, though just as rebellious, spoke up.

"So kid, what's your name?" Brian looked back nervously.

"Uh Brian. Brian Johnson." The other boy nodded. "Okay Brian, I'm Joe. This is Chris," he gestured to the larger of the other two. If it wasn't for his punk clothes and attitude, Brian thought he'd fit right in on the football team."And that's Nate." Brian looked over at the last guy, who was wearing a Van Halen shirt that had obviously seen better days.

So these were Bender's friends. They didn't seem too bad; granted that they were currently breaking more than a few school rules at the moment. Thankfully this was his free period, and while Ms. Kralky would wonder why he didn't show up to help this week, but he could come up with something.

Moving alongside Bender, he leaned in to whisper. "Why are you doing this, hanging out with me I mean."

"Because someone said I'd never do it, and I'm not about to be like her."

Brian thought for a moment then leaned in to Bender's ear so that no one else could hear. "You mean Claire?" Benders face tightened. "By the way, isn't that her earring? The one you were bothering her about?"

"Why, you wondering if I stole it?"

Brian shook his head. He was about to continue but something told him he should drop the subject. They reached the bleachers and followed Bender single file as he went around to the back and ducked under the metal poles. He weaved through a path he had obviously taken many times, leading them to a small white building of concrete. Brian looked at the square building he never even knew existed until then.

Bender nodded towards a wooden door that seemed to have been painted black many years earlier. The paint had obviously been peeling for some time, and the door itself was made of such a cheap wood it had begun to curve slightly in the years. He pushed the door open and waited for the others to file in before closing it again.

Brian looked around the only room nervously. It was dimly lit by a single window, though he reasoned that even if the sun was out at it's peak, it wouldn't do much to brighten the atmosphere. Suddenly it now occurred to him that he was trapped in a small space with four of the schools known thugs and criminals. Not only that but they were all the way across the field and no one would know to look there for him. He swallowed hard against his sudden panic. He trusted John, honestly he did. But what if his friends decided it might be fun to screw around with the dork who followed them without question? Would Bender give in to peer pressure and let them do whatever they wanted?

"Here."

Brian jumped back in shock as Joe's hand came towards him. The taller student couldn't help but laugh.

"You sure this guys all right Bender? I mean you hand him a joint and he's ready to take off."

Smiling nervously, Brian took the weed. '_Just calm down_' he told himself. '_Just light it, smoke it and you'll be fine._' He was worried now too about what would happen to him, doing drugs in the middle of school. He'd tried it out of curiosity on the weekend and ended up having a blast, so he wasn't against doing it again, but what if he was caught? What if his teachers could smell it on him? Would they believe it if he told them he'd simply walked passed some burn-outs and gotten the smoke on his clothes? And in his undoubtedly panicked state, could he manage to lie convincingly? But at this point he knew if he didn't smoke it, Bender's friends would worry that he was a total nark, and they'd have to take measures to ensure he didn't rat them out. With all eyes on him he slowly lifted the joint to his mouth and leaned in to Bender for a light.


	3. Will You Recognize Me? Part 2

**Don't You**  


Chapter Three: _Will You Recognize Me? Part Two_

Allison fidgeted in her seat, staring up at the clock above the classroom door. There was another three minutes until the bell would ring and every second passed by slower than the next. Her stomach felt heavy and she was starting to get lightheaded. 'I could just take another route to class.' she thought. 'Then I wouldn't have to see him, or deal with the humiliation of having him ignore me... Not that anyone else would notice.' Her jaw twitched with nervousness. Trying to distract herself she glanced down at her notebook where there were only three lines of notes and not a single picture. Turning the pages back a bit she looked at the dozens of sketches and doodles she normally made while hiding in the back of the class.

"Well, that's it." She heard the teacher announce. "Congratulations on having successfully gotten through an entire lesson on time. Class will be over in a minute so just pack up your things and wait for the bell."

'_A minute and 32 seconds._' She corrected silently. With a sigh she slid her book into her overly packed bag and leaned back. The rest of the students were already getting up and gathering by the door, eager to leave.

"Miss Reynolds." She looked up and stared at the teacher. "I got a call from Mr. Hashimoto. He wants you to go to his office at the end of the period." A few of the other students looked over at her and snickered. "I know you have class next period but he said it's illegal to take you out of lunch so often so you'll have to miss Chemistry today."

'_What a disappointment._' She continued to stare for a few seconds, then nodded. The teacher, obviously disturbed by her silence, simply nodded back and broke eye contact as soon as possible.

Richard Hashimoto, the school guidance counselor, had an office at the back end of the school, meaning she wouldn't be passing by Andrew after all. For some reason the sinking feeling in her stomach grew even more at the prospect.

~~~~~

Andrew Clark stood in his usual spot, leaning against the railing of the stairs, while he waited for his friends. They all had gym together since they were on the same team, so they would meet up in the few minutes before hand to hang out. It was kind of pointless since by the time they were all there, they usually had to run down to the gym, but it had become a tradition. It was fun to walk in as part of a big pack that everyone knew would be coming. The other students would watch as the dozen or so guys walking in together, jumping around and messing with each other. It was a total disruption, but since their teacher was also the head coach for the wrestling team, they could get away with it no problem.

He smiled as two of his team mates walked up to join him.

"Andy, my man. How's is goin'?" One greeted with a high five. Andrew returned the gesture with a smile.

"Same old. Waiting for the coach to chew me out for missing practice over detention."

"That where you were? We were wondering why the star of the show didn't show up." Andrew laughed while his friends continued to tease him over the special treatment he got from the coach. A few more people showed up and joined them as they crowded around the stairwell. Andrew smiled along with their conversations but he wasn't really listening.

He was certain he'd seen Allison come down this hallway before and he was hoping he'd see her go by today. He still wasn't sure whether or not he'd be able to say hi and talk to her if she did come. Associating with a "freak" would be hard enough, but to do it with so many of his friends around would be career and social suicide. He hated to admit it but Claire was right.

"Yo Andy, we gotta hustle. Bell's about to ring." Andrew nodded and glanced down the nearly empty hallway one last time before heading down the stairs. They walked together down a small hallway that lead past the weight room to the gym. The only other doorway was at the end of the hall. It lead to the locker room but since most teachers took roll call in the gym before they changed, the door was kept locked.

They made their way into the gym, and as usual all eyes were on them. They were like an army of... Coolness. Andrew laughed at the thought, but it was true. He was part of the elite in Shermer High, and most of the student body looked up to him for that.

Most. He now knew that not everyone in the school was like that. There were a few that were happier to be themselves than to be popular or accepted by the masses. He wondered briefly if he could ever be like that, but the thought passed quickly as he caught the admiring glances of his peers. He had grown so accustomed to being looked up to, he wasn't sure what would happen if he lost that status. But he did want to change, if only a little. He wanted to think for himself.

~~~~~

Brian stood shakily outside his physics room door. He could hear Ms. Kralky going on with her lesson. He was scared, oh was he scared. He had gotten so caught up with John and his friends that he lost track of time and ended up running across the field to get to class.

'_At least the rain dampened out the smoke_' he thought, still not believing that someone like him would be worrying about being caught using drugs.

Taking one more deep breath he opened the door and tried to enter as discretely as possible. Unfortunately as soon as he had gotten in the room, his teacher looked up to greet him.

"Hello Brian. I missed you during last period. Were you doing more research for that project?" He nodded. He'd been working on a paper for extra credit, and as embarrassing as it was to admit to being such a "teacher's pet," he was happy that he wouldn't have to come up with an excuse on his own. "I can understand getting caught up in that but try not get get to class late again, okay?" She smiled cheerily and he nodded again, making his way to his seat. For once he hated the fact that he sat up front because he now had to walk in front of the entire class to get there.

Not far down the hall Bender stood leaning against the end of a line of lockers. He'd headed back to the building not long after Brian had taken off. He knew someone would come down the hall before long so he was better off going to him own class. Stopping off at his own locker he grabbed the latch and muttered. "Shit. Where the hell's my lock?"

Yanking it open he quickly went over the shelves to make sure nothing had been touched. Satisfied he grabbed his barely used text book and slammed the door shut. He automatically reached to replace the lock, then stopped himself. '_Man, whoever had the balls to grab my lock is in trouble._'

Once he had calmed down and gotten to his class he walked in without hesitation. The teacher glanced at him and sighed exasperatedly, knowing there wasn't much point in berating his deadbeat student. Bender brushed past the rows of students and stopped at the open seat furthest from the back. He grabbed the chair and pulled it back noisily, then plopped down, propping his foot on his desk. The teacher glanced at him again, then went on with the lesson.

He didn't hate school or learning, per say, but it was never easy for him. Even as a child his parents hadn't been very loving, and he couldn't remember either of them reading to him or helping him with homework. As he got older and strong enough to "make himself useful" his father would put him to work all day long, leaving no time to catch up with schoolwork. He started focusing only on subjects that interested him, so math, science and the arts were abandoned. 

By the time he reached high school he'd given up on getting anything out of school and the thought of going to college was a joke. He didn't have the money for it and his father sure as hell wouldn't be paying. Now he just had to coast through two more years and he'd be done.

~~~~~

"So you turned to prostitution after you became addicted to heroine?"

Allison nodded with a lopsided grin, prompting a sigh from the school counselor.

"You don't expect me to believe any of this, do you? It's another story every week and I never know what to think. Why don't you try to be honest with me Allison?"

After a moment the young girl looked at him tearfully. "You're right. I have to be honest with you, and everyone else. And most importantly with myself." The counselor smiled proudly. "The truth is... It was the cocaine that I needed the money for. I started shooting up afterwards."

Sighing heavily, Mr. Hashimoto leaned back. "You know if you don't cut this out I'll tell authorities I believe you and you'll end up in an institution for troubled teens. Do you want that?"

Allison scratched her neck and turned away. She didn't want to be here and she hadn't done anything to deserve it, at least not recently, but she didn't want to get into any trouble either, so she sat silently until he spoke.

"Well, you think about that and we'll meet again next week. I have another student coming in in a few minutes."

Allison nodded and left quickly. After walking a few feet she stopped to lean against the wall. She wondered what he would say if she told him the truth about being neglected at home. Then he'd categorize her as another teen acting out in a cry for help. He'd give her the pre-rehearsed speeches he'd learned in college and then send her out the door. She had to admit it felt good to open up during detention, and she felt like they were the people she could talk to. Not some old man with a painted on smile and a degree on the wall. Kicking the back of her heel against the wall she pushed herself away from it and headed for the stairs. It was only the middle of fifth period but she didn't feel like catching the rest of her class.

Wandering the halls she turned down a corridor she hadn't needed to take before. It ran along past the back of the library, she realized, to a rusted door left partially ajar. Walking out she found herself under a large awning in what appeared to be an unused driveway. The air was chilled and she could hear water dripping along the side of the building. She was tempted to just walk home until she heard voices approaching. She jumped up and hid behind the door as two teachers walked by.

"Look at this, someone left the door open again." The teacher kicked it shut as he went through. Swinging her foot out Allison caught it before it clicked shut. She held her breath as the teachers stood two feet from her. All they had to do was turn around to find her outside and then she'd be in trouble. They walked a few feet farther and she inched forward, slowly opening the door. As she slipped back inside she caught sight of the two teachers kissing, the woman joking about their secret meeting place.

'_Oh gross. I am never coming out here again._' She headed back down the corridor and up towards the lunchroom. The bell would be ringing soon and she had nowhere else to go in the meantime.

~~~~~

"So, you must be Brian Johnson." Mr. Hashimoto looked over the latest student to pass through his doors. A sophomore with "suicidal tendencies." He stood awkwardly in a pair of khaki pants and a navy blue sweater. If it weren't for the green and yellow Nike's, it would have looked like a school uniform.

"Come, sit." He smiled warmly. Brian obliged and sat uncomfortably in the chair across from the counselor he'd been ordered to speak to. The two sat silently for a while. Brain looked around the office, nodding his head and fiddling his thumbs.

"So, why are we here today Brian?"

"Umm.. I guess it's because of the flare gun."

"That's right. Now tell me, why did you bring the gun to school?"

Brian looked to the side and pursed his lips.

"Were you going to use the gun Brian?"

Silence.

"I can't help you if you don't help me to understand." There were tears in the students eyes. He just had to push a bit further. "Were you going to use it on yourself? Or on someone else?"

"I wasn't going to shoot anybody." Brian said with a sudden panic. It had never occurred to him that they might think he intended to harm other students or teachers.

"Then tell me..."

"I guess... I guess it was for myself. I was just frustrated and... I couldn't take it."

"What couldn't you take? What was frustrating you?"

"Grades I guess..."

"Are you having trouble in school? I looked at your transcript and it's all straight A's."

"Yeah, but not anymore."

"Why not?"

"I'm failing shop." It felt silly to say that now. Until Saturday it had been the worst thing to ever happen to him, but once he'd finally told someone, he saw the silliness of it all. That didn't mean he wasn't still upset or depressed by the prospect of losing his perfect school record though.

"Shop huh? You know I failed shop when I was in school."

Brian smiled weakly. He knew that Mr. Hashimoto didn't intend to make is sound like _he'd_ wind up as a disrespected school counselor, but it certainly came out that way.

"So is that really all that's bothering you?"

Brian nodded, his eyes still red.

"Well, I understand the pressure to do well in school, but maybe it's not as bad as you think. Why don't you try telling someone else about this and see what they think. You may be surprised to find it's not such a big deal at all."

"Okay... Sure."

"Now, the bell is about to ring, so go ahead and get to class. I want to see you again next week all right?"

"Uh-huh"

"Good. And stay away from those flare guns. They're dangerous." He winked and Brian gave another weak smile, then grabbed his things and left. Mr. Hashimoto sighed and leaned back. After all his years of college, he was now pandering to smart alec kids, and when he was finally given something worth working with like suicide, it turns out to be some half hearted attempt. This kid didn't have the guts or real desire to hurt himself, or anyone else.

~~~~~

"Ick. My shoes are like sticking to the floor. It's so disgusting."

"I know." Claire agreed. "I hate the cafeteria." She and Kate were standing by the stairs at the back of the cafeteria, waiting for the bell to ring.

"So, we missed you at the party on Saturday."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was totally bitchin. There were _no_ parents at all. Half the people didn't even go home. They were all passed out on the floors and stuff."

"Really? Were they all that drunk?"

"Only some of 'em. Ashley was totally plastered. She started making out with Jason when he was in the middle of eating."

"Oh gross." Claire gave a look of disgust as the bell rang. "Come on. If we don't run we'll be late for English, and you know how Ms. Farelli can be."

They took off up the stairs, making their way through droves of other students, many of which gladly stepped aside so they could pass.

"You know, when they make our schedules, they really should check to see if it's humanly possible to get to class on time." Claire complained.

"I know. Four minutes is so not enough time to go from the first floor on one end to the fourth floor on the other."

The bell ran as the ran down the fourth floor hallway. Reaching their class they both dashed in giggling, and sat down. The teacher shot them a sharp stare, but said nothing.

"As I was saying, today we'll continue reading from your text. I'm also handing out information for your final project."

There were a few murmurs in the class.

"Now calm down. This doesn't mean it's going to take you three months to finish, although for some of you it will..." A couple of students laughed while others grinned sheepishly. "...I'm just trying to help you all out. I know by May you'll be busy studying and writing papers, so I'm giving you the opportunity to do this one early."

"What is the project?" A student called out.

"We can go over it tomorrow, after you've all had a chance to read through the assignment. In the meantime, everyone should have their books out. I assume you finished chapter seven over the weekend as planned, so let's read through chapter eight, then discuss it."

Everyone groaned. Anytime a big assignment was announced, they wanted to know what it was, when it was due, and the easiest way to get an A. To make them wait was cruel. On top of that, it was never very enjoyable to have to read aloud in class.

"Craig. Why don't you begin?"

"Mommy's house was orchestrated chaos, and as the eighth of twelve children, I was lost in the sauce, so to speak..."

~~~~~

"All right boys. The game is five card draw, aces high, deuces wild. Who's in?"

A couple of students moved to join Bender in the back of the classroom. Their substitute teacher stammered from her place in front. "Young Man. Young Man, this is a classroom... You know you're responsible for this."

Bender flapped a piece of paper at her. "All I have to do is finish this, right? Doesn't say anything about having to listen to you." He grinned as she fumbled for words.

"What's your name?" She finally asked.

He quickly glanced around the room, then caught sight of one of his friends. "Cliff." Across the room Cliff stifled a laugh.

"Cliff what?" The teacher demanded.

"Cliff Turner."

"Well, Mr. Cliff Turner, I am writing a note to your teacher about this."

Bender laughed while Cliff panicked. "That's not fair!" He cried out. The teacher turned to him.

"What do you mean? I won't allow such behavior to go unpunished. Mr. Turner here obviously has no respect for myself or Mr. Hensen, and I think he deserves to know that."

Realizing he couldn't tell the truth, because he'd be in trouble for cooperating with Bender, Cliff changed gears. "What I mean is, I, John Bender, am a much more dastardly delinquent than Cliff over there." He pointed to Bender with a beaming smile.

The teacher stared perplexed at the now laughing class. Control had been lost, and she knew it. '_They don't pay me enough for this._' she thought, sitting down. "All right, I get it." She told them. "Just finish the assignment and hand it in, do whatever you want."

A few cheers arose and within minutes the crowd had reformed around Bender, who was dealing cards around the desks they'd pushed together.

This was where he was most comfortable, part of a crowd where he could act however he wanted to, and they'd respect him for it.

Oddly enough he found himself dealing to kids he'd normally ignore. It had become tradition for him to play cards when there was a sub, and many students knew that so there was usually a good crowd. He'd deal to his friends and ignore pretty much everyone else, leaving them to watch on their own. Now the group who was playing was more diverse.

He shrugged it off, truly believing he'd never followed the stereotype, but the feeling was there; that even if it was unintentional, he'd been an asshole to some people, simply for who they were.


	4. Will You Recognize Me? Part 3

**Don't You**  


Chapter Four: _Will You Recognize Me? Part Three_

Brian sat with his friends in the lunchroom, glancing at the jock table where Andrew was eating with his friends. Most of them, he noticed, had two trays full of food. He glanced down at his own tray and thought of how many times he'd dropped it on the way back to his table. He couldn't imagine having to balance two overloaded trays. Granted Andrew and his friends didn't have to deal with other students trying to knock _them_ over.

"You know staring at him isn't going to fix anything." Brian turned around to face Larry Lester. It hadn't even occurred to him that Larry might notice Andrew there as well.

"Umm. I was just trying to see what he was like." Just that morning Larry had told him about the incident in the locker room. Brian had feigned ignorance and was now regretting it.

"What do you need to know? He's like a major ass. He'd have to be to do what he did."

Brian nodded. "Yeah, but maybe, you know, he feels bad about it?"

"Yeah right!" Larry was upset now. Brian tucked his head down, hoping no one would notice. "He was laughing at me Brian! Him and his friends... They were all laughing. It was terrible."

Brian looked at him solemnly. "I know."

They both sat silently and picked at their lunches for a bit. There were a couple of other labeled "nerds" at the table, but they didn't know each other well enough to talk. Suddenly a new face sat at the table next to Brian. He glanced over nonchalantly. Not wanting to seem too interested in the student willing to sit at their table.

"Allison?"

She nodded with an apprehensive smile, not making eye contact.

"What are you doing here?"

She shrugged stiffly. "If you don't want me here or whatever, just say so."

"No no. Sit. Stay." He laughed nervously while Larry leaned in to whisper. 

"Brian. You never told me you knew any chicks."

"She's _one_ chick, and I just met her." Clearing his throat he straightened up. "Allison, this is Larry. Larry, Allison."

"Larry Lester?" Allison questioned.

"Yeah. How'd you know my last name?"

"Andrew told us about you."

Brian tried to get her to stop talking about Andrew without Larry noticing. He wasn't sure how his friend would react if he knew he was "fraternizing with the enemy."

"Andrew Clark? You know him?"

"Yeah. He was in detention with us."

"With Brian too?" He turned to his nervous friend. "Brian, you know Clark?"

"Ah... Yeah... Well... Not really."

Allison elbowed him in the side and whispered. "You promised."

Knowing she was right Brian told him. "Yeah. He's my friend."

Max Sterwin who had been sitting next to them turned. "You're friends with Andrew Clark? Wow. How'd you manage that?"

Feeling mildly popular, Brian smiled. "Nothing really. I mean he's really not a bad guy once you get to know him"

"Cool. Maybe you could introduce us."

"Why don't you shut up Sterwin!" Larry snapped. Max quickly pulled out of the conversation.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me Brian. I thought we were friends."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't want to upset you."

"Yeah? Well you did. How can you be friends with that jerk? After what he did to me. And it's not like he's always been nice to you. Remember that time he and his friends knocked us over in the hall in front of everybody?"

"Yeah, but I really don't think he means to-"

"Yeah, because their laughter filled apology was so sincere."

Allison watched the two go back and forth, intrigued. Finally she asked, "Is this what having friends is like?" 

They both turned to her.

"I mean, I don't have any friends, but I didn't think it was supposed to be like this."

They turned to each other solemnly."No it's not." Larry told her. "But you're not supposed to lie to your friends either." Before Brian could respond, he took his tray and left, going to sit at a nearly empty table at the other end of the cafeteria.

"Sorry about that." Brian apologized. "I didn't want to tell him about Andrew, because I knew he'd get upset."

"Sorry if I pushed you then."

"No, you were right. I didn't realize that I was doing what I promised not to do until you said something."

"Yeah. It's hard, huh?"

Brian nodded. "Oh, guess who I spent the morning with?"

She thought for a moment. "Who did you say?... Oh, Kralky, right? That horrible bird teacher."

"Bird teacher?"

"Yeah. She got that hooked nose, and beady eyes. She even walks like a chicken."

"She does not." He laughed. "But anyway, I actually ditched on helping her."

"You did? Why?"

"Bender invited me to hang out with him and his friends."

"Really?" She had been skeptical about whether or not any of them would remain friends, and Brian and Bender were the last two she expected to pair up.

"Yeah. It was kind of cool. They have this secret hangout place behind the bleachers and everything."

Allison sat silently for a moment before speaking. "Brian, what do you think is going to happen to all of us?"

"I don't know. I hope we stay friends, but I think it may be a bit much to ask. I mean, you, me, and Bender sure; we don't really have a lot to lose. But Claire and Andrew?"

"I know what you mean. Everything was so different on Saturday. I was there kissing Andy. _Kissing_. And now... I haven't even talked to him since then."

"Well, he's right over there." He gestured to the table he'd been watching before. Allison shook her head.

"No. If he doesn't want to talk to me now it'll just be embarrassing for both of us. Maybe I should just call him."

"Do you really think that would be better?"

"Yeah. I called Claire yesterday and she talked to me. I think with no one else watching, it's easier."

The bell rang, startling them both. They'd been so absorbed in their conversation that they hadn't noticed the rest of the students gathering near the exits. With mild embarrassment they threw out the remainder of their lunch and left in opposite directions.

~~~~~

Andrew and his friends walked down the hall, each of them splitting off as they reached their class. While they made their way along the second floor, Andrew caught sight of a figure clad in blacks and grays. He turned around as they passed her, but her eyes were downcast and she didn't notice him as they went by.

He figured he could make up some excuse to leave the group, then hang back and talk to her once they'd gone, but he didn't get the chance.

"Hey Andy." A seemingly random girl joined them and began talking to him. "Where were you the other night? We missed you at Stubby's."

"Oh, I was kinda busy." He answered, trying to place the girl. She was familiar, but he couldn't come up with a name or remember ever talking to her.

"Jen! Come on. We have to get to class or Mr. Ryan will yell at us."

Now that voice was familiar. Claire came up from behind and grabbed Jennifer's hand. "Who are you talking to anyway?" She turned and looked at Andy.

"Oh. Hey." She greeted.

"Hey." They looked at each other quietly for a minute as if there was more to say between them but they knew they couldn't say it.

"All right, whatever. C'mon Claire."

The redhead followed her friends lead, waving a quick good-bye. Andrew was the only person from Saturday that she'd seen so far and she wanted to ask if he'd talked to anyone else. She wasn't really planning to talk to the others, but if he did, then she'd have to or risk being seen as the bitch they thought she was.

"Hey Claire!"

She turned around to face Andrew who was walking over. "Yeah?"

"You might see Allison down the hall. Just thought I'd give you a heads up."

"Okay, thanks." She turned back around and found Jen right behind her.

"Who's Allison?" She asked with grated nerves, as they continued down the hall.

"Uh, just a girl."

"I could have guessed that much. _Who_ is she? She's not his girlfriend, is she?!"

"Well, I don't think so..." What could she say? That Andy and Allison were making out that weekend, but they'd probably never talk again?

Up ahead Claire could see Allison, standing outside of a classroom right across from where they were headed. As they got to their class, Allison looked up and gave a quick glance in Claire's direction. She smiled back weakly, then went inside.

~~~~~

The last hour or so of classes went by in a slow drag. At the sound of the last bell, all of the students filed out en masse, eager to get home. The rain had finally dwindled down to a drizzle and the sun was beginning to peek through the clouds.

Allison stood to the side of the front stairs, watching as everyone passed by until she found a familiar face and called out to him.

"Brian!" He didn't hear her so she sped up to walk alongside him.

"Oh, hi Allison."

"I was calling you, you know."

"You were?"

She nodded. "That's okay though. Are you walking home?"

"No. I take the bus."

"Oh. Well shouldn't you be lined up with everybody else?" She gestured to the line of students near the sidewalk.

"No, I usually wait until everyone else is on. It cuts back on how much they do."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Mostly they just push me around and stuff. But I guess it helps to avoid what I can. What about you?"

"I take the public bus."

"You do? Why?"

"My parents didn't bother to register me for the school bus so..."

Brian nodded and chewed his lip a bit. "My parents, they don't like me taking the city bus alone."

Allison couldn't help laughing a bit. "It must be nice to have parents that care about you like that."

"Nice... Is not the word." He smiled and looked over the girl who stood next to him. Even though she was dressed nearly the same way she had before, there was a different air about her. She was now approachable.

"What?" She asked, noticing his stares.

"N-Nothing. Just, you're talking. It's kind of strange."

Allison's head sunk into her shoulders. Was she really acting all that strange? Were the chances she was taking and changes she was making, only worsening her situation? Suddenly uncomfortable, her legs fidgeted a bit and she quickly moved away from her... friend. "I gotta go." She told him quickly, trying to get away as fast as possible without being conspicuous. Brian merely watched her with slight confusion.

"Hey Big Bri!"

Brian jumped as a hand slapped down on his back. A few seconds later Joe came into view, his T-shirt pulled over his head from behind to block the rain. Brian nervously smiled back. Was he being sincere? Or could this be a trick to get him off guard and then humiliate him?

'_You're being paranoid_' he told himself. '_They didn't do anything to you before, so why can't you trust him now?_'

"You need a ride kid?"

"Uh..." Brian stammered for a moment. The burnouts were known for recklessly driving a total clunker, and he was sure that, assuming there even were seat belts, they wouldn't be wearing them. Still, despite the risks, it had to be better than taking the bus home.

"Yeah, sure." He answered finally. Throwing one last glance at the bus line he felt guilty, noticing a friend of his hanging back from everyone else, but he was sure he'd understand. How could he pass up a chance at hanging out with "cool" kids? They weren't the in-crowd, but they were higher up than the brains at least.

"Cool. Come with me."

They made their way along the side of the school to the small parking lot. It wasn't hard to find the car. All of the other preppy cars shone brilliantly in the sun, while one spot stood out like a smudge on a window. As they went past the rows of cars Brian spotted Claire getting into a friends car. Feeling brave he decided to say hello.

"Hey Claire."

She looked up and paused for a moment, looking back at the long haired brunette who was opening the car. Brian gave her a hopeful look and she couldn't help smiling. "Hi Brian."

Katie turned around to see who was talking and was shocked to see Claire associating with one of the school dorks. Hoping to save her friend, she moved to join the conversation.

"Come on Claire." She said insistingly. "We have to go. I don't want this nerd holding you up." Suddenly a thought occurred to her. Could the kid from detention be thinking he could use that essay against her? If that was the case she had to act fast to get Claire out of there. A little humiliation would be enough to slow him down.

"Oh, I see. Is this the dork you were telling us about?"

Claire had actually told her friends about him? Now that was a shocker. While everyone stood uncomfortably, Joe nudged Brian. 

"Hey. What's with you and the prom queen?"

"Oh, hasn't he told you some story about the two of them by now?" Katie answered. "The truth is she got him to write some paper for her. Apparently he's somehow gotten the idea that that makes them friends." She laughed haughtily while Brian's face fell.

"That's not true." Claire whispered silently. Brian looked at her sadly, then turned away.

"Come on Joe."

Joe threw one more glance at the girls, then followed Brian to the car where Chris was already waiting. He flicked his head up in greeting as they approached.

"So you guys all share the car?" Brian asked. He'd seen them all driving around together but he didn't know quite how they had it all worked out.

"Yeah. We bought it from Dirt's dad."

"Dirt?"

"'Nother guy. He'll be around soon. I split the cost with him and Nate."

"Oh. What about Chris and Bender?" He'd whispered his question so he wouldn't offend Chris, who was currently sitting on the front hood, leaving quite a dent. Joe laughed.

"They couldn't front the cash all at once. But it's cool; they just pay for gas to cover it."

Brian nodded. "Do I need to pay? Because I- I don't have any money. My Mom doesn't like letting me go to school with a lot, so she just gives me some for lunch."

"Nah, that's okay."

They waited around for a few minutes until Bender, Nate and, presumably, "Dirt" showed up. John looked at Brian with some surprise, not expecting him to so easily move into their group. But if the others were so accepting of it, who was he to judge? But at the same time a gnawing thought told him that perhaps they were merely following his whim. He knew he'd thrown some harsh stares earlier, so they could simply be doing what they thought he wanted.

"You must be Dirt." Brian smiled apprehensively.

"Yeah, I am. Whose the dork?" He pointed his thumb at Brian and looked to Joe and Chris.

"Bender's friend." Joe answered, prompting Dirt to shift his view to Bender, who shrugged with a half smile.

"Don't worry about it."

"I have to 'worry about it'." You guys are inviting total freakazoid strangers into my car without sayin' shit about it."

"It's our car too." Chris interjected.

"And I guess it was you who invited him along?"

"Uh, no. He came with Joe."

"Oh, so Joe's got himself a new boyfriend. Maybe they'd like the back seat to themselves."

"Hey. Lay off." Bender warned.

Brian watched the interchange with tightening nerves. "Umm, if it's a problem, I don't need a ride." He offered. The school buses were already gone, but he might be able to find a teacher who could drive him.

"No." Joe cut in, finally joining what to him was an inane argument."Chris is right. We all split the cost of the car. This ain't some Dirt ruled monarchy."

"Hey! You bought the car from _my_ dad. He can take it right back if he wants."

"No he can't!" Chris shot back. "We bought it, now we own it."

"Whatever." Fuming, Dirt thumped into the drivers seat and waited for the others to follow. Since he wasn't sure what to do, Brian approached Bender.

"Should I get in? I don't want to if it's causing problems."

"Get in." Bender pushed him jokingly. "He's always like this so don't sweat it."

They all piled in, four of them squeezing in back while Chris took shotgun. Showing a bit more acceptance, Dirt took Brians directions and drove him home first. When they'd gotten there, he quickly climbed out and thanked them, then waved as they drove down the block.

They'd passed the school bus about two blocks back so he was home at about the usual time. His only worry was his younger sister. Often times they'd meet on the way home and he'd be stuck walking home with her. On occasion the timing of their busses wouldn't match up, so it wasn't so odd for him to get home before her, but any discrepancy could lead to his mother asking questions, and he was sure she wouldn't be happy to know he came home in such an unsafe manner.

'_Well, no sense waiting around._'

Brian walked up the stone pathway and into their home. He could hear a vacuum running down the hall, telling him that his mother was home as usual. She didn't work, and she liked to be there when they got home to inquire about their day, and make sure their homework was done.

"Hi Mom!" He called. A few seconds later the roaring ceased and he heard her footsteps on the plastic carpet cover in the hall.

"Hi Honey... Oh, Mary's not with you today?"

"Uh, no. Our bus left early today."

His mother nodded and smiled while ruffling his hair. "Well, that'll give you a head start on homework then. Go on. Get to it."

He smiled back and grabbed his schoolbag, then walked past her to the stairs. He had to finish his assignments, and then get some extra work done on his physics project, just in case Ms. Kralky would question his alibi for earlier that day. He shook his head on the way upstairs. An alibi... Him. Things truly had changed.

~~~~~

"So, do you think Harrison Ford works out?"

"What are you talking about? Of course he does. No one looks that good without work."

Claire looked up from the toenail she was painting. "What about Kevin Bacon?"

"I dunno. I mean he's fit, but not really buff." Ashley answered. "Oh, hey! Did you hear about the sale they're having at Ralph Lauren?"

"No. When is it?" Jen asked, excited by the possibility of an all day shopping trip.

"It's this weekend only. Half off on a ton of stuff. We gotta be there before the open on Saturday."

"Okay, sure." Claire smiled. "I should have my car back by then."

"That is such a bummer. I can't believe they took your car for the whole week over one detention. It's totally not fair."

"Yeah, it sucks royally, but I can deal." She was about to say it seemed like more of a punishment to her mother since they were forced to spend time together, but she stopped herself. That wasn't the kind of thing she and her friends talked about. But it _was_ something she could share with the others from Saturday. Suddenly she was reminded of Allison's call.

"Hey guys?" Jen and Ashley stopped talking for a moment and looked over at her. "Would you mind if I brought another friend along on Saturday?"

Jen shrugged. "Sure. I'm sure we can fit someone else in the car. Who is she?"

"Oh, just a girl I met on Saturday. She's pretty cool."

"Awesome. Does she go to Shermer?"

"Uh, yeah."

"You have to introduce us then! Tomorrow, okay?"

Claire smiled hesitantly. "Yeah. Sure."

~~~~~

Allison sliced through her salmon with the side of her fork, then carefully maneuvered the flaky piece to her mouth. It was the second night in a row that she was eating dinner with her parents and they were both eyeing her suspiciously, but saying nothing.

Classical music played softly in the background, the sound of violins accentuating the silence of the room. Finally, eating one more string bean, Allison excused herself to her room. On the way up the stairs she heard the phone ring, and a moment later her mother called her name flatly. She found her standing in the kitchen holding out the phone.

Allison took the phone from her mother who quickly retreated to the dining room.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Allison. It's Claire."

"Oh... Hi."

"Hey, listen, I can't really talk, but do you want to go shopping this weekend? My friends and I are going to this huge sale. I figured you might be looking to buy some new clothes so..."

"Ah... Mm-hmm." She hadn't really thought about it, but if she continued changing her looks and behavior like she was, a fresher wardrobe might help. She could always pull some money from her "emergency" stash.

"Okay." Claire said cheerily. "My friends want to meet you tomorrow, so I'll catch up with you around 7th."

"Yeah, sure. Bye."

Allison set the phone back in the receiver and adjusted to cord which tended to tangle on the drawer knob below it. When she'd agreed she had no idea she'd have so little time to prepare before meeting Claire's infamous friends. She had a lot to do before morning.


	5. Troubles and Doubts

**Don't You**  


Chapter Five: _Troubles and Doubts_

Andrew listened to the brumbling sound of the engine in his fathers truck as they rattled over a few bumps in the road. It was Tuesday, March 27, 1984. The previous day had gone by without incident but something told him that would change today.

"Oh, I got a copy of the school paper yesterday. They spelled your name wrong again. You really aughta get them to fix that or the recruiters are gonna be confused... So, Champ, you give any more thought to what we talked about the other day?"

Something was wrong. "Champ" was a name reserved for days when he had a meet. His father didn't use it on a day-to-day basis. "Uh, yeah. I'll try harder Dad."

"That's my boy, A real champion, like your father." He laughed heartily.

Now Andrew knew something was definitely up. Champ; champion. What was he getting at? Suddenly his attention was drawn to his arm, and the circle of fabric that was a bit lighter than the rest, having been protected by dirt up until that weekend. On Saturday Allison had easily torn his championship patch from his sleeve. It was strange to him how effortlessly she removed it. Like this huge, inescapable part of his life was in fact weak and easy to get rid of.

He turned to his father nervously and caught a cold stare. "Where's the patch Kiddo?"

What could he say? The truth might prompt at least a little sympathy. "I gave it to a girl." Okay, she had taken it, but that sounded better. The senior Clark sighed.

"All right... All right. Fair enough. Giving a girl something like that is one way to get the ladies, and I can't really blame you for that."

_Was he really getting away with it?_

"But a champion patch is... Well they don't hand those to just anyone Son."

_Of course not..._

" And don't think for a second that they'll just hand you a new one. Something like that is sacred, and if you can't take care of one, they're gonna think you don't deserve one. Now you go see that girl today and get it back."

"I can't do that Dad."

"Why not? Afraid she won't like you? You're a popular, good-looking kid. You've got plenty of options."

"It's not that easy Dad... It's complicated."

"Well sure. Life is complicated when you're a teenager. But you still gotta get that patch back. You understand?"

"Yes Sir."

Now he'd _have_ to talk to Allison. It was something he was dreading and he'd hoped to avoid it completely. He really liked her, and she "got" him, but it was an impossible situation. Unless she showed up in designer threads and a whole new look and attitude, it could never work. He was sure if he just avoided her for a bit they'd both forget about it and he wouldn't have to deal with it all.

~~~~~

"You... look nice."

The words were spoken without inflection, as if she was being forced to say them out of obligation. Allison looked at her mother with some surprise."Thanks." She finally answered, equally lackluster in response. The two were uncomfortable together, but somehow they both knew the time had come that they should finally start talking again... But that was enough for today.

Allison scratched at the edge of her chin a bit. She wasn't used to wearing foundation and the like, so it was starting to irritate her. She wondered silently how she could make it to seventh period without rubbing it all off. Not only that but her skin felt odd and prickly, so exposed as it was. She was wearing a sleeveless top, similar to the one she put on on Saturday, and the skirt she was wearing was shorter than what she was accustomed to. '_This is so stupid_' she told herself, brushing her hair behind her ears. '_Why should I care if they like me? And if they do, shouldn't it be for me and not my clothes?... But who am I kidding? For them life is all make-up and fashion; they won't care what I'm really like. But I just can't take this anymore. Constantly being left behind by family and peers. Life isn't supposed to be like this._'

She blinked back tears and gave her head a shake so that her hair fluffed out a bit and settled more naturally. Then with a sigh she pushed it back into position. On her way out the door she grabbed her oversized black sweater and cast a quick glance back to make sure her mother saw that she was leaving.

It wasn't too chilly, but a breeze was blowing hard enough for her to decide it would be best to take a bus, rather than walking. She always left at the same time, an hour before classes started, so she could decide then how she would go to school. Walking gave her a chance to clear her mind and witness the world from a spectators point of view. She could see people from all walks of life and the different ways they went about things. Prissy girls being driven to school. Jocks picking each other up. They all followed a pattern that was easy to pick up on. She prayed that she wouldn't fall into that pattern and routine much of society was already stuck in. She liked being different and unique; her own person.

The bus pulled up with a hiss and she stepped on quickly, throwing in her change and moving to the back. She sat next to a man who was sleeping across three seats. Apparently he was in for the long hall. Allison had seen him once or twice before and figured he got on somewhere near the start of the route, since he always got the seats he wanted and was sound asleep by the time she got on. A few girls from another school were sitting nearby and looked over at her. She smiled timidly and they returned the gesture, then turned away. '_At least they're not laughing._'

After going a few blocks the bus began to rumble a bit, then puttered to a stop. Everyone looked up and waited until the driver gave up trying to get the engine to turn over, and stood to address them. "Sorry, folks. This bus is now out of service. Another bus will be here shortly and you'll be allowed to transfer to that one. In the meantime I have to ask that you please exit the bus."

"And wait out in that cold?" One of the girls from earlier complained. Allison snorted. It was March for God's sake, not December. As she got out she decided walking to school wouldn't be so bad after all. If anything she could prove to herself that no matter what, she'd never be some preppy wanna-be prom queen.

~~~~~

Bender rubbed his shoulder and rolled his neck a bit while he walked down the street. He'd gotten about three hours of sleep the night before, having stayed over Chris' and slept on an old beanbag chair. Then he was chased out in the morning by Chris who hadn't said anything to his parents about having a friend over. Now he was tired and grumpy and he was stuck going to school on time. It took a moment for him to register what his first class was. '_Chemistry, right, beautiful. Because I really want to know the atomic properties of iron._' He felt himself grin. Apparently some of the crap his teacher spouted had made it's way into his head.

He reached into his bag to pull out his Walkman and jumped back as a car barreled down the street, and sprayed muddy water from a roadside puddle. He cursed and shook his arm which was luckily the only thing that had gotten wet. He pulled off his coat and rubbed his arm, trying to wipe the water off before his arm froze, then shoved the jacket into his bag.

Any "desire" to go to school was now thoroughly gone, so he sat down on a decorative rock at the edge of someone's lawn. He'd probably just wait until third period shop before going in. He'd have to time himself a bit better this time though to avoid having to deal with Vernon. Van Halen played while he sat back and watched the cars go by.

He'd gotten about halfway through the tape when the headphones were knocked from his ears by someone walking by. He shot his head up to catch Allison grinning stupidly as she walked away. He stared after her for a second, then grabbed his bag and stood up, shoving the Walkman back into the front pocket. He walked up to her casually until he was eventually walking next to her.

"School?" He asked, staring forward as if he didn't know her.

"What about it?" She too continued to stare straight forward. It reminded her of the movies when spies would meet up and pass on messages while acting like they didn't even notice each other.

"Are you going?"

"That's the plan." She smiled and they both continued walking together. She couldn't think of anything to talk about, but she was grateful for the company.

"So what's with the clothes?" He asked when they were about halfway to Shermer High.

"Hm?" Allison responded quietly, pretending that she hadn't heard him. He was the last person she wanted to explain herself to. He could go outside of the norm without being shunned by everyone. It wasn't like that for her.

"Your clothes. You're dressed like a pep-rally princess."

"Oh. Just felt like a change." Vagueness was key to avoiding a real conversation about the merits of changing her ways in order to be liked. It wasn't like her to do that, but she had to do something. Understanding that she didn't want to talk about it, John let the subject drop and walked the rest of the way silently.

"Thanks... For walking with me." Allison smiled awkwardly and backed away a few steps. "I have to get to class so." She pointed her thumb over her shoulder and shrugged. Bender nodded her off, then headed for his locker.

~~~~~

"Claire!" Claire and her friends turned around and saw Andrew walking up to them. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Claire nodded and shrugged her shoulders, then waited for him to speak.

"Privately." He raised his eyebrows and looked at her eagerly.

"Okay."

Assuring her friends that they'd meet up later, Claire followed Andy to a nearby stairwell to hear what he had to say."

"I need to talk to Allison."

"Okay... And?"

"_And_?" Didn't she understand how serious this was? "I can't just go up and talk to her like nothing. Besides it's not like I'm just going to say hi."

"Well what are you going to do?"

"I have to take my patch back."

"Wait... What patch?"

"My championship patch. She took it on Saturday and I need it back."

"Ooh. That is weird."

"Yeah."

They both stood for a while, nodding in agreement and running the situation through their minds.

"Have you talked to Bender?"

"John? No, why?"

"Well it would be a lot easier to talk to Allison if I knew you were still talking to him."

They fell again into an awkward silence. They both knew what they should be doing but it was hard to take that first step.

"It's funny isn't it? I feel... I know I should find him and just talk to him but..." She felt a round tear roll onto her cheek and laughed. "This is so stupid. Why am I crying?"

"Extreme love?" Andrew offered with a smile. She laughed a little in response.

"No, nothing like that. I think... It's just so frustrating. You know how it is; having to stop and worry about what everyone else will think before you do anything... Sometimes I wish something would happen and all my friends would give up on me..."

"You really mean that?"

"I don't know."

The bell rang to interrupt their conversation. Claire ran her finger along the edge of her eye to wipe any tears, then smiled weakly and headed back into the hall.. "Sorry I couldn't really talk to you about Allison, but I'll see her later today so if you want I'll tell her."

"No, that's okay. I should do it myself... So how come you can talk to her and not Bender?"

"I guess because she's a girl. My friends will just think I'm taking pity on her. But with a guy it's different."

"I see what you mean. Well, I'll catch you later."

"Sure. Bye."

Andrew turned to go upstairs and Claire quickly ran to the end of the hall, just making it to her history class in time.

~~~~~

Brian approached Larry slowly as if he was a wild animal and any sudden movement would set him off. They were in the same math class and normally sat together, but he wasn't sure if his friend would want that today.

He sat a few seats down and looked over, then smiled. Larry returned the gesture and glanced at the open seat next to him, inviting Brian over.

Brian quickly switched seats and swallowed to fight his nerves. They each pulled out their books and prepared for class, then sat and waited.

"Sorry about yesterday." Larry apologized.

"No, it was my fault. I should have told you from the beginning."

"Yeah, you should have, but I can see why you didn't... So are you really friends with him?"

"I don't know. I consider him my friend but I haven't talked to him since Saturday so I don't know what he thinks."

"Some friend." Larry snorted, then smiled. "Sorry."

Brian laughed silently then turned forward as their teacher walked in. "Still friends?" He whispered. He saw Larry nod out of the corner of his eye and smiled.

~~~~~

Allison walked into her fourth period class as apprehensively as she had her others. No one recognized her until she sat in her usual seat, or answered during roll call. She was like a totally different person but somehow she couldn't fully step out of the role cast to her by her schoolmates. If she walked into a room full of strangers in a new class, they might treat her as an equal, but here everyone knew who she was and treated her as they always had despite the changes in appearance.

As class rolled by she sketched out a picture of the school on fire, because Mr. Hashimoto was sure to love it, and took notes in the margins. She'd decided that she would definitely talk to Andrew today, decked out and looking inconspicuous enough that he could talk to her without worry. Unlike yesterday she was actually excited by the prospect of seeing him again.

When the bell finally rang her bag was already packed and she ran for the door. It was a short walk down the hall and a flight of stairs, then she was in the gym wing. She always passed through there as a shortcut to her class to avoid the crowds and that habit was paying off now.

She looked ahead and caught sight of the jocks who were starting to gather, but Andrew wasn't there yet. Allison quickly slowed her pace, then stopped and pretended to tie her shoe lace. She'd rushed down there and ended up being too early.

Her plan was to walk up casually, and just say hi and she passed by. Anything more than that would be too conspicuous and he might think she went out of her way to see him. That was why she couldn't let his friends see her waiting.

She considered going back to the stairs she had come down, and waiting a few minutes, but before she'd decided, Andrew came into view, walking with two of his friends.

'_Here we go._'

She did her best to walk casually, but she knew there was too much of a "bounce" to her step. With a deep breath she caught his eye and smiled.

"Hey Andy."

She kept walking by. '_Keep it casual_.'

"Oh hey!"

Allison couldn't believe it, he was calling her back. She turned around slowly. Casual seemed to be the only word or thought her brain could offer up. He was walking towards her, giving his friends a quick wave so they would go on without him.

"Hey." He greeted.

"Hey."

"Umm, I'm sorry but I need my patch back."

"Huh?" She blinked at him in confusion. What was this so suddenly?

"The one you took, I uh- I need it back."

"Oh..." _This was what he wanted her for? To take the patch back? To take back everything?_

He looked at her hopefully, trying to avoid a drawn out conversation out in public.

"Okay." She agreed in a whisper.

Andrew smiled. "Really? Thanks. I was worried you wouldn't be cool with it."

She nodded silently and turned away to hide her face. "I have to get to class."

"Sure. Catch you later?"

With a nod she started walking away and listened for the sound of the stairwell door, signaling that he'd gone.

Once she was out of sight, Allison ran to the fourth floor and down the hall, her high tops snapping against the linoleum floor. She didn't stop until she'd reached the bathroom that she knew would be empty. The room looked half finished, with it's sloppy tiling and dripping exposed pipes. No one ever used it if they didn't have to.

She was crying now and she couldn't take it. She'd put so much effort into doing everything right, to keep herself from being rejected, but he still turned on her so casually. That was the worst part, how he didn't seem to care or realize that he'd hurt her feelings.

Now fuming with embarrassment and anger she turned the faucet so that the water pounded out at full blast. She threw her hands into the sink and cupped the water, splashing it on her face and rubbing it vigorously.

'_Fuck this._'

She spent the rest of the period removing any traces of makeup from her face and neck. She ran wet hands through her hair repeatedly until it lost it's "fluff" and hung flat and messy, blocking her eyes.

'_I can't believe I was so stupid._'

She took her sweater out of her bag and put it back on. It was unusually warm that day, especially on the top floor, but it covered the bright cheery clothes she had on. Rifling through the bag she searched for a different skirt to wear but found nothing.

'_Dammit. I'm stuck like this now._'

She stepped out into the hallway and glanced in either direction. No one was around. 

It took her awhile to make her way down to the cafeteria. She stopped to glance in a few classrooms to observe the people who refused to let her fit in. If they were all so shallow as to judge people by appearance, why couldn't they change their minds in the same way?

After she reached to first floor she stood around waiting. From outside the cafeteria she could see Bender sitting on one of the tables with three other guys. A couple of girls sat on the bench of the opposite table talking to them and laughing.

Allison glanced at the teacher watching the entrance and saw he was talking to someone distractedly. She walked in being sure not to look in his direction. The guy didn't notice a thing. She smiled cockily and walked out and back in once more for the heck of it, the headed in Bender's direction.

She sat a few seats down and glanced over, trying to hear what they were talking about. On Sunday it had occurred to her that Andrew was the least likely person for her to associate with. She was an outcast like Brian, and rebellious like John. It made more sense for her to try to fit in with them.

She was surprised to find that John had noticed her. He said something to his friends then walked across the tabletop towards her. From the other end of the cafeteria a teacher whistled and yelled for him to get down. He winked in the teachers general direction and hopped down, then trotted over to Allison.

"What happened to you?" He asked, flicking her wet hair joking. She glared at him sarcastically but smiled despite herself.

"I didn't want to be like them."

Bender nodded a few times. "Too hard to be a princess? I'm sure the prep club will be devastated."

"Totally."

"Yo Bender!" One of the guys called.

John waved his friends off for the moment.

"Go ahead." Allison told him. "The bell's gonna ring soon anyway and I can talk to Brian."

"You sure? I'm supposed to be in math right now so I'm not above skipping class." He laughed.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

He shrugged roughly then headed off, her gaze hot on his back. He was an ass, he made rude comments and didn't show a huge amount of compassion, but there was still something nice about him. Allison got the feeling that he understood her well. Well enough at least.

The bell rang a few minutes later and to avoid suspicion she left with everyone else. She followed close behind Bender's group to hear if he said anything about her that might reveal whether or not he was just humoring her, but it never came up. At the second floor she broke off from the mass of students and walked to the next set of steps and back down. Once in the cafeteria, she did her best to find the seat she'd sat at the day before and waited for the other students to arrive.


	6. Vanity and Security

**Don't You**  


Chapter Six: _Vanity and Security_

Claire glanced down the stairs at Bender who was walking up with some friends. She had never known he was in the same lunch as her until that day. During the period a teacher standing behind her had blown a whistle that rattled her ear drums. When she looked up she saw Bender jumping off a table at the teachers command.

Now, with her friends, there was nothing she could do beyond looking over the siderail as they made their way up. She watched him walk out onto the third floor just before she reached the fourth and headed to her English class.

While Ms. Farelli droned on about subtleties created with the use of foreign words in english text, Claire gazed out the window. The sun was shining brightly like it had when they'd left detention. In that memory, it was an almost liberating light that shone through the windows, casting shadows through their desks.

She wanted to walk out right then and go find John, but that was foolish thinking and she knew it. Her little fantasies of forsaking her friends for a whirlwind romance were just that; fantasy. In reality she'd be tortured by people who once respected her, and for what? A boyfriend who'd already made it clear that he wasn't a one-woman kind of guy. The guy who simultaneously made her cry and smile. A criminal with no future. The only guy to reach her heart.

She was going through the same deliberation as that morning...and the night before...the day before...Saturday, in the car, moments after leaving. No matter how hard she rationalized everything out, she couldn't make a decision. She didn't even know what she was deciding on. Whether she could stand up to her friends? If he was worth it? If he'd do the same? If he thought she was worth it? Would it work? For every fact she had ten questions and more speculation.

~~~~~

Allison was standing inside her seventh period class, just inside the doorway. She still hadn't decided whether or not she'd go through with meeting Claire's friends after what had happened. She was a wreck, even moreso than usual, and she didn't feel like making "friends" with any more snobby people who would turn on her at a moments notice.

She could hear Claire and her friends out in the hall chatting. They passed her classroom and peeked in so Allison quickly flattened herself against the wall to keep them from seeing her. They lingered there briefly and she was aware that her behavior must have seemed peculiar to her classmates. What did it matter though? They all thought she was a freak anyway.

A few minutes later the bell rang and she took her seat, cautious to be sure the bubbly socialites weren't still looking. Lunch with Brian was enjoyable, and Bender was willing to talk to her without first prettying her up. She decided she didn't need the Shermer high society students to like her. Not if it meant not being herself.

~~~~~

Claire saw John again after school in the parking lot. She was getting a ride home from Jennifer and he was waiting a few cars down. Their eyes caught for a minute and he stared at her with his mouth slightly open as if he had stopped mid-breath, though she could have been idealizing the situation. She returned the stare until Jen asked her to move out of her way so she could get in to the car. By the time she was seated and buckling her seat belt, they were pulling out of the lot and he was out of sight.

That was two days in a row that she had run into someone from detention in the parking lot. Would Allison be there tomorrow? Well, even if she did it wouldn't count since they were supposed to meet up anyway. In fact Claire still wasn't sure what had gone wrong earlier.

Oddly enough Claire did see Allison walking on the way home. She immediately told Jen and asked if they could give her a ride.

"That freak?" Jen was watching Allison and obviously recognized her. "No way. She is not getting in my car."

"Oh come on. She really nice. Just let her in. She's coming with us on Saturday anyway."

"Yeah, sure. In _your_ car. And... I may not come anyway."

"Jen." She whined. "That's totally not fair." They'd already passed Allison but if they were going to hang out together at all, Claire needed to convince her friends to accept her and not just shun them both.

"Look, she needs help. I mean you saw how she was dressed and all. She needs a good shopping trip and a serious makeover."

Jen pouted so Claire pushed more.

"It'll be fun. You want to be a beautician, right? Imagine the credibility you'd get for revamping her look."

"That is true..." She pondered for a bit. "I guess it'll be okay."

"Thanks." Claire smiled. All she had left to do was to make sure Allison was still coming. She seemed a little hesitant about meeting "the girls" so soon(or at least Claire assumed that was the reason she had bailed), so maybe she just needed a day or two to prepare.

~~~~~

The next day Claire met up with Andy in the morning to ask about Allison. When he told her that she passed by him before fifth period, it was the perfect opportunity to catch up with her. Since she had lunch then it would be the ideal time the grab her and talk for a minute without worrying about getting to class.

When she caught up with her friends at their lockers, Jen was telling them about the plan for Saturday.

"Are you talking about the girl with the dirty hair? She like always wears black and never talks?"

"That's the one."

"Oh my god!" Ashley exclaimed. "She's in my history class. She's disgusting with a capital D. You know she's always getting called to Hashimoto's office."

"Really?"Mary asked. "She must be a major psycho."

"She's not that bad." Claire told them. Then, realizing that comment could make them compare her to Allison, she added "She just need some work."

"A lot of work." Jen corrected. She then regaled them with her plan to spruce up Allison to make her look good, but not too good as to outshine them. Then they could unveil the results of their project to the rest of the world on Monday. Eventually they all agreed to it.

It wasn't exactly how Claire'd planned it, and Allison's reputation was in fact being knocked down a bit throughout their discussions, but it was the best she could expect, given the circumstances.

~~~~~

Come fourth period, Allison was planning a new route to class, while Claire contemplated the best way to the boys gym. It was pointless, Allison realized, to try avoiding him when his patch was tucked snugly in her pocket. Until she handed that over, she couldn't be free of him.

She still couldn't believe the first guy she'd fallen for was the one she was running from. She wasn't one for romance novels and the like; instead she preferred fantasy novels and fairy tale stories, where the prince and princess were in the love from the start and stayed that way, happily ever after.

But while Andy was a prince in Shermer high, she was no princess. She was more like the stable girl, mucking out stalls. There was no way that would work out.

Hiding in the world of fantasy worked to separate her from the pain of neglect, but it wouldn't work now. She had no choice but to face Andrew and the fact that her worst fears were being realized.

With a sigh she slid forward to let her chin rest on the desk. She'd missed chemistry twice this week already. Hopefully things would go smoothly enough and she wouldn't miss it again today.

_"I don't want to be alone anymore."_

_"You don't have to be."_

Allison woke and realized she'd fallen asleep in class. Thankfully the teacher hadn't noticed, or didn't care.

It was hard to believe that she and Andrew had spoken those words just a few days ago after what had happened the day before. He seemed so kind and like he truly cared, but like everyone else in her life, his affection was short lived.

~~~~~

"I just have to see someone." Claire explained to Kate as she tried to make it to where Andrew would be waiting. "I swear I'll meet you in the cafeteria, okay?"

"Sure, whatever." The brunette responded. "So what is it, some hot guy you're keeping from us?"

"Of course not" she smiled, although the thought had passed her mind to find Bender before meeting with her friends. "It's really no big deal. Just something I have to take care of."

With a quick good-bye Kate took off down the hall while Claire ran in the other direction, hoping to make it before Allison. Andy promised to rush there himself since he had to talk to her as well.

In what had to be record time she made it to the recluded wing and walked towards the members of the wrestling team that were gathering. She took a quick breath before she'd come into their view and now walked over calm and composed.

"Hey." She wasn't speaking to anyone in particular since, even though she recognized some, she didn't know them. A few said hi in return and she smiled lightly. '_Perfect_' she thought of her performance and ability to always appear sweet and poised.

Even though they criticized her for it, John, Brian and Allison didn't understand how hard it was to maintain her image. Constant primping, the right amount of manners and morals, always staying on top of the latest trends, and just the right sex appeal.

Did it really make her a tease if she tried to look attractive while never acting on the attraction? She always avoided topics of sex and answered questions vaguely with her friends. Allison _was_ right, it was a "double-edged sword." She didn't know the meaning of the phrase but Allison's explanation was enough. Slut or prude, neither one was good.

Andrew came up suddenly and stood alongside her, watching the hallway. A minute or so later Allison came in from the stairs and immediately looked at them.

'_What's Claire doing here?_' She thought, feeling her heart pound. Being rejected by Andy was bad enough, but to have Claire there watching was even worse. '_Just make it fast._'

Allison reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the patch, running her thumb over the embroidery. She smiled with effort and handed it off to Andrew, then kept walking.

Andy and Claire each exchanged glances. "Should we follow her?" Claire asked.

"No. It's a clean break. Just let it be."

He was right. Her idealic thinking had her trying to force her world and theirs together, while Andy remained levelheaded and separate. To her knowledge, he hadn't spoken to anyone beyond her since Saturday and she should have been doing the same thing. But, hadn't she managed to get her friends to accept Allison for their trip? Couldn't she logically continue having successes like that? If things got hairy, and her place in school was threatened, she could always back out, but she had to at least try.

While Andrew left with his friends, Claire ran in the direction she'd seen Allison go. After a few minutes of checking hallways though, she had to give up.

'_This is ridiculous. I can't believe I'm doing this for people so below me._'

On her way to the cafeteria, she suddenly remembered John. '_Okay... If I find him and we're cool, I'll keep trying. But if not... That's it._'

In the lunch room she carefully avoided her table and made her way to the back of the cafeteria. She located a few tables occupied by burnouts and rebels, but no sign of Bender. She didn't know who his friends were to ask, or she might have found out he was actually in class. It was a waste of time anyway. Everyone around her was with their own group and she had no reason to be any different.

She walked over to where the rest of the "richies" sat and joined them, making sure to tell Kate she was there.

"See, I promised." She teased.

"Promised what?" Mary asked from a few seats down.

"For some reason Miss Claire couldn't walk with me today." Kate told her. Claire had to laugh.

"Oh come on. I told you I had to take care of something, and now I'm here, as promised."

"I still think you were meeting up with a guy."

"A guy? Claire?" Cynthia, a senior, spoke up. Claire just smiled, suggesting a kind of "maybe I did, maybe I didn't" response that was always appropriate in these situations.

"What does it matter anyway. It didn't work out." She told them. That was her stance on her relationship with any of the members of "the breakfast club." She tried, no one else did, so no one could fault her now. "So, I think I better eat my lunch before it's too late." She pulled out her food, gave a quick smile, and began to eat.

~~~~~

Allison was sitting in the back of chemistry, gouging the top of the desk with her pen. The ink was no longer running since the ball was now backed up with scrapings from the desk, but it didn't matter. She wasn't writing or drawing anything in particular; it just felt good to run along the grooves and feel like she was making some headway, unlike in her life.

She could have stayed and said something. Told him off for being so cold-hearted. But what good would that do beyond embarrassing them both? Even if Andrew had hurt her, Allison had no desire to do the same in return. She wanted to hang on to the hope that things might work out between them, but the cynic in her prevented that. Her old way of living had been so much easier, and she was slipping back into hiding. Hiding. Staying quiet. You couldn't get hurt if you went by unnoticed.

"Ms. Reynolds."

She looked up at her teacher, Ms. Kralky, and suddenly realized how easy it was to see what she was doing.

"May I ask what it was that was so important you had to share it with the world by carving it into your desk?"

A few of the students laughed and she realized all eyes were on her. She instinctively lowered her head to hide.

"Ms. Reynolds!" The teacher demanded. "You can hide your face from me all you like, but as you should be well aware, it won't keep me from handing out punishment. I'll see you after school where you'll spend your time cleaning every single one of the desks in this room."

Allison glared at the woman through her bangs, but remained silent. It was humiliating, but they'd turn away if she stayed there long enough.

After a few seconds Ms. Kralky continued with the lesson but a few students still stole glances in her direction. She stared blankly at one of them until he turned away, whispering to the person next to him.

It was strange how everyone in the school strove to be the same; to fit in, but it didn't get them any notice. If you were to ask someone in the class "Remember the guy with Bugle Boy shirt?" they'd probably tell you no. But ask about the girl who wears seven layers of clothes, even in the summer, and they'd be able to say yes years down the line. So maybe being so different and unusual wasn't so bad after all. She'd gotten by fine and, despite some feelings of doubt and loneliness over the years, she never really thought to change. It wasn't until Saturday, when she'd felt "accepted," that she began to question herself.

If it wasn't for Saturday, she would never have changed, and now she resolved to act as if that detention never happened, because that change was causing nothing but problems for her. She'd ignore the people she'd met, except for Brian who was truly kind, and go back to her old life.

'_But what about my parents? Things are finally changing with them._'

That was a good change, and she'd continue trying to work on that for the time being. If she could make her life at home more satisfying, it would be easier to get through two more years of monotony.

~~~~~

At the end of the day Claire's father was waiting outside. She heard the BMW beep as she was walking by and nearly jumped.

"What are you doing here Dad?" she asked through the open window.

"I finished up early so I could take you out to dinner tonight pumpkin. So come on, I'll take you shopping until you're ready to eat."

That would be the perfect distraction for her. A little shopping, buy some new clothes, maybe some jewelry, and then a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant with no reminders of the past few days.

"Okay, sure." Claire turned back around to her friends who were waiting to walk to their cars. "I've got a ride, so see you tomorrow."

She slid into the apolstered seat and slammed the door shut, then pulled on her seat belt As her father pulled down the drive, she flipped down the passenger mirror and pulled out a stick of lip gloss.

"Now you know my policy on makeup in the car."

Claire smiled snidely out the window and put it away. "Geez it's just gloss Daddy. I'm not gonna draw on the windshield with it or anything."

"I know sweetheart, but rules are rules."

Her father had a thing about using anything remotely messy in the car. He loved it too much, she thought, and went out of his way to protect it. Premium gasoline, despite the cost; never let anyone drive it but himself; he even put one of those welcome mats in the garage next to it's space so that he could wipe his feet before getting in.

"So where were you last night?" Claire asked, not looking over. He'd called the night before and told her he would be in the office till late. He never came home.

"Oh, you know. Things were so hectic I decided to stay and sleep in the office. I'm sorry I couldn't be home, but I was able to get caught up enough to spend the evening with you."

He rubbed her knee in that fatherly way and she shifted her leg slightly. She knew something was up and he was trying to buy his way into her good graces. She was tempted to tell him that they should just go home for dinner, but as long as he was willing to throw money her way, she might as well take advantage of it.

She felt a little guilty, like she was betraying her mother, but Mrs. Standish wasn't innocent in all of this either. Her constant beratement and demanding manner had driven her husband out of the house on more than one occasion. In fact Claire was the only innocent in the matter, at least in her mind.

They stopped by a few retail stores and jewelry departments where Claire looked more than she bought, though she was careful to pick out a pair of diamond earrings. "Don't you already have one in that style?" he'd asked. She denied it and picked up the pair to replace the one that was sitting incomplete at home. As soon as she'd gotten home on Saturday she'd pulled off the remaining diamond and put it in the bottom of her jewelry box under the liner, along with the silver lightening bolt she'd gotten in place of the other stone.

Around 7:00 they pulled into the parking lot of a new french restaurant. Her father tossed the valet a few dollars and the doorman got a twenty, prompting him to pull the father and daughter ahead of the line.

"So, wine or champaign?" Mr. Standish asked as they were seated.

"I'm only sixteen." She laughed genially.

"Yes, of course." He cleared his throat embarrassingly. She thought he'd been joking, since she never had alcohol except on special occasions, but had he actually forgotten her age? "So..." he interrupted, "Chicken Cordon Bleu ?"

"No. I kind of want something light tonight. Maybe grilled mahi mahi with a small portion of foie gras."

"Whatever you want honey."

She nodded quietly. There was a gentle atmosphere in the restaurant of hushed voices and light music, accentuated by the sound of silverware hitting ceramic china. It was a welcome change to the silent tension of home and the hectic clamor of school, made even more obtrusive after the events of Saturday.

~~~~~

"I'm home."

Allison walked through the first floor, eager to get upstairs and change. She could hear mingled voice in the living room, and had she been in better spirits she might have attempted to join them, but that wasn't the case today. Her arms were sore from scrubbing and her head was pounding. She quickly withdrew to her bedroom and proceeded to undress. Her body felt heavy so she chose to wear only a long sleeved T-shirt over her underwear. She pulled on a pair of black and white socks for warmth and left the room.

Damned if they had company; she was in no mood to impress them and she didn't care if they saw her: hair messy, face puffy, her pale legs showing half past her thighs. Besides the odds of them entering the kitchen were slim.

Her feet padded across the bleach white tile floor and she pulled open the fridge. Taking out a jar of jelly she closed it and moved to the closet, pulling out a bag of marshmallows. She poured a few in a bowl and scooped some of the jelly on top, then put the jar away. On top of that she added Frosted Flake cereal, and finally milk.

Allison glanced slowly down the hall, then made her way back upstairs. They were probably enjoying poached salmon and asparagus or some equally "tasteful and adult" food. Her lip crinched at the thought. What interest was there in eating such tired fare?

In her room she ate and left the bowl on her dresser to take down in the morning. Sleep suddenly overcame her and she drifted to her bed, the sound of her parents guest still echoing in the walls. She was where she belonged, apart from them, and it would stay that way. Tomorrow was a new day with little promise, and she was fine with that.


	7. Walk On By

**Don't You**

Chapter Seven: _Walk On By_

Brian sat in the front of the school bus, anxiously aware that a group of jocks were sitting unusually close to him. Occasionally they would whisper to each other while glancing over at him.

'_This is crazy. I can't just sit here._'

"Excuse me guys." He said, turning to face them with an awkward smile of confidence. "Whatever it is you're planning to do, can you just give it up or get over it?"

The two friends looked at each other and laughed. "You think we were talking about you lamewad? Get real. We were checking out the hottie over there." He jutted his chin out in the direction of a blonde who'd been sitting in front of Brian.

"Oh..." He was feeling incredibly embarassed now. "She is pretty hot, huh?" He gestured to them knowingly, trying to project some degree of coolness to cover his embarassment. It didn't work. No sooner were they glaring at him in disbelief, than he was retreating in his seat.

'_Smooth move Brian._' He told himself. '_Real smooth._'

He spent the rest of the ride worrying what those two were now thinking and saying about him, even though he knew logically he'd never interact with them again, he hated the thought of people making fun of him behind his back.

Andrew walked up to where Claire was chatting with her friends. She was looking good as usual. He couldn't say he had "real" feelings for her, but it made sense for the two of them to get together. Plus he was tired of his mother pestering him to find a "nice girl." He'd failed on getting her to go with him on Saturday, so he figured he'd give it another go. Besides, it would get Allison off his mind.

"Uh, hi ladies."

The four girls turned to smile at him.

"Hi Andy!" Jen squealed. He seemed to be running into her a lot lately.

"Hey." He greeted back politely. "How's it going Claire?"

"Okay I guess. You?"

"Same."

They stood awkwardly silent while Claire's friends looked on.

"Uh... What there something you wanted or...?" Claire questioned. The way he'd joined them was far from casual and she was sure something was up.

"Yeah." He nodded, relaxing. This was Claire afterall. They'd known each other for a while and after detention he knew their friendship had become closer and less superficial. "You wanna catch a movie this weekend?"

"Sure."she replied. "Who with?"

"...Me." He gave her what he thought would be the obvious answer.

"Oh...oh..." Suddenly she ushered him to the side a bit. "Look Andy... No. Just no. I can't believe you'd even ask. There's nothing like that between us. And even though you hide it I know you have feelings for Allison, so if you're going to ask out anyone, make it her."

He stared at her quietly. He'd expected her to say yes, if only for the sake of complacency. He didn't mind not being able to go out with her, but the rejection hurt just the same.

"And what about you? I don't see you and John Bender walking arm-in-arm." He shot back. There was more of an edge to his voice than he'd intended and he realized he was speaking a bit too loudly. She scowled and shot him a look, telling him to watch himself. "You see." he told her. "You're just the same as me. You'd die if your friends had overheard me but lucky for you they're off in their own world. You keep saying 'just talk to her' and 'it'll be fine' but what do you do? Nothing. And don't think I hadn't heard about you shooting down Brian the other day. Word travels fast around here if you're listening."

"Well at least I've tried!" She could have cried after his verbal assault but now she was too angry. "For your information, Allison is coming with me shopping on Saturday. -_Well, that plan seemed cancelled but he didn't need to know that_- And I didn't want to be mean to Brian, but I had no choice."

"Sure, keep telling yourself that."

He turned away and quickly disappeared into the mass of students. Claire realized her friends had since left her so she headed to class on her own, still fuming.

During lunch Brian sat with his friends and chatted with them while he waited for Allison. She'd sat with them every day that week and they all enjoyed the female company. There'd been some talk about whether she had a boyfriend but Brian brushed it off. From the way she and Andrew had looked together, he was the one for her.

Brian looked up as the guys around him began greeting their new companion.

"Hi Allison."

"Hey, Allison's here."

"How's it going Ally?"

Her cheeks blushed as she smiled embarassedly. Allison had been a loner most of her life and she wasn't used to getting this kind of attention, especially not for something as simple as showing up. She was slowly getting accustomed to being in such a large group but she still mainly stuck to talking with Brian.

"Hi..." She greeted in her normal, quiet manner. Brian smiled back quickly.

"So, did you hear about Michelle Manning?"

She shook her head no.

"Well she's been vying for prom court since the beginning of the year, but yesterday...."

Allison listened while he went on with his story. This was how their "conversations" always went; Brian talking, she listening. She didn't mind. He always had something to talk about: an event in class, something strange his sister had done, things going on around town or school. They were all things she wouldn't hear about otherwise and it made her feel like more a part of the world.

"Hey, what does your family do for Easter?" Brian asked suddenly. Allison looked at him blankly for a moment, then shrugged, so Brian answered his own question.

"My mom always makes us go to church. We have to buy new church clothes every year with is horrible, because I just get a suit and I'm done quick but my mom and sister take forever with these big frilly dresses and I have to sit and wait with all these weird ladies picking out clothes around me..." He told her. "But after that there's this big lunch and the little kids look for Easter eggs. Don't tell anyone I told you-" he added whispering. "But I always move the eggs around while they're looking. Mary gets so upset."

He watched Allison smile weakly and suddenly felt bad. She probably didn't have any of those family memories like he did, and it must have been like he was rubbing it in her face. Suddenly a thought occured to him.

"Do you want to come?"

"Where?" she asked, suprised by the sudden change in his tone.

"To the picnic. I uh- I heard when you were talking to Andrew in the library... About your parents." This was awkward, admitting that he'd been eaves dropping. "Anyway, maybe you could come, and it would be fun. There are a lot of different families there, not just mine, so no one will mind."

She stared at him pensively for a bit, as if she wanted to say no, but didn't have the heart.

"You don't have to come." He said, trying to keep her from feeling awkward. "But if you want you can. There's still a couple of weeks so... It's up to you."

Allison nodded again and took a bite of her sandwich while she waited for him to bring up a new topic.

In one of the smaller classrooms, Mr. Petto was conducting another mini test. It was his belief that the best way to pass finals was to practice them all year long. As a result, on each Friday he would conduct a verbal or written quiz, based on the schools manditory language tests.

"Next... John Bender. Señor Bender. Aqui, aqui." The teacher called. Bender got up with some annoyance, throwing his cards on the desk, and sat down in the metal chair.

"Okay," the teacher began to explain. "I'll ask you a question in spanish, and you respond likewise. You can get partial credit as long as I see you're comprehending the majority of what's said. So are you ready?"

The student shrugged half-heartedly.

"Okay then. ¿Qué es su deporte favorito? "

Bender looked at the teacher blankly. Half of the words were translated automatically in his mind while the rest were left foreign and unrecognizable. The teacher repeated the question and waited. Finally Mr. Pettocut in.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Nope."

"Alright, that's okay. You can still pass the test. Now what do you understand?"

"Something about my favorite something." John sighed.

"What about deporte. That's the key word in the sentance. What does that mean."

"I already told you I don't know." This was degrading. Everyone in the class was enjoying the free period but there had to be some people listening.

"John." The teacher responded, giving him that 'I understand and want to help' look he reasoned all teachers were taught before getting their licence. "You'll never pass the class if you can't pass the oral section of the final. You're barely passing the written tests as it is. It's a Board of Ed requirement to finish three years of language study in order to graduate. This is the second time you're going through the first year. If you don't catch up, you won't graduate in time."

Bender nodded, knowing the man was right.

"Okay, now I want you to study up for next week and we'll see how you do. If you don't start passing these tests each week, you'll have to enter a tutoring program."

The two sat silently for a moment.

"Are we done here?" Bender asked finally.

"Yeah." the teacher smiled. "We're done here."

John stood up with a quick nod and headed back to where his friends were waiting.

"Hey, what took so long?" One of them, a spanish guy named Marco, asked.

"Hey, shut up. Not everyone here was born speaking Spanish." He laughed.

His friends threw out a few more comments, then went back to their game.

After 7th period Allison quickly ran from her class and down the hall. Claire watched her go by with mild concern and forced disinterest. She'd given up on getting anyone together and the less attention she paid to the others, the better it would be.

"So, we're still on for our Super Saturday?" Jen asked as she and Claire made their way down the hall.

'_Is it really Saturday already?_' Claire thought. "Yeah, of course. I get my car back today so I'll pick you guys up in the morning."

"Okay, cool. So, is _she_ coming?"

Claire shook her head. "Allison? No, I don't think so."

"Okay, good. I mean the plan was hot and all, but that girl is a major weirdo. I don't know what you were thinking trying to hang out with her."

"Yeah." She replied absentmindedly. "Me neither."

"John Bender!"

"Oh shit!"

Bender quickly took off down the hall, the sound of Mr. Vernon's voice echoing behind him. One of the school's biology classes was discecting frogs that week and it was a perfect opportunity in his mind. Apparently the Vice Principal had just discovered the dozen or so amphibians scattered about his office.

'_Man, I do not need this._'

"You get back here young man! Don't forget I've got you all day tomorrow so running now won't do you any good."

"Listen Dick. I see you've taken a real interest in our relationship." He joked, passing through a hole in the stairwell for a quick change of direction. "But I think you're moving too fast. Spending one day a week together's plenty!"

"Oh, we'll be spending a lot more time than that together, mark my words. I'll have you in the morning before class; after school; weekends. You won't take a piss without my knowing it."

Something had to be wrong for Vernon to make threats so openly. Granted it was after eighth period and most of the students had already left the building, but the staff could still easily hear him. Realizing this was not a good time to play around Bender picked up his pace and looked for the best escape. Up ahead a class was being let out late... A chance to blend in and lose his pursuer.

He dove between the stream of students, dodging shoulders and weaving around for an opening.

'_Her? Perfect._'

He reached out and caught Allison's elbow, yanking her into the hall. She glared at him harshly, her nostrils flaring so much he had to laugh.

"Chill. I just need you for a sec. Walk with me." He threw an arm over her shoulder and began to walk towards the stairs, hunching slightly to hide his face.

She widened her eyes at him, a sign of annoyance at his lack of explanation.

He nodded quickly. "Just walk." He glanced over his shoulder to check out Mr. Vernon who was sorting through the other students.

Allison grunted and stepped away exapseratedly. If he wasn't even going to explain, she sure as hell wasn't going to stick around.

Unfortunately the sudden movement caught the vice principals eye and he quickly recognized his target.

"That's it Mister. You march over here right now or you're in big trouble!"

"Damnit!"

Pissed off, John grabbed Allison again and took off down the hall. "Thanks a lot! I would have made it if it weren't for you flipping out like that. The man's gonna kill me here."

Allison hesitated for a moment, but kept running. She felt obligated to help him now. As they reached the first floor an idea struck her and she changed direction, pulling the back of his shirt to get him to follow.

She ran until she reached the exit she had found earlier that week. Mr. Vernon would expect them to go out the main exit, or one of the stairwell doors. He might not even know of this one.

She led him to the small passage she'd taken and realized she was doing the same thing John had, yanking him along without explanation.

"It runs along behind the library." She told him, expecting him to figure out on his own why she took him there.

"No it doesn't. The library's further that way." He pointed to the wall to their right. "I think this is the auditorium."

"Oh." For once she felt like she'd found something speacial and hidden, only to find she'd gotten it wrong. Another disappointment.

The two continued until they reached the brown metal door and shoved it open, the chill March air hissed in and ruffled their hair.

Bender stuck his head out and looked around to get his bearings, then nodded. "Okay. This way." He headed down the drive and Allison could see they were in back of the school. They walked along some overgrown areas and behind a few homes, heading for a nearby road that would inevitably lead them both home. They stopped once they'd reached the asphalt and John pointed down the road.

"Shermer Rd. Is down that way and..." He turned to face the opposite direction. "... Greenvioew Rd. is that way."

Allison nodded. It didn't matter which direction she went, since she could pick up the bus on either side. She wasn't looking for a conversation so she decided to take the path opposite of his. She looked at him and waited while he stared back, doing the same. Finally he turned away.

"A 'bad girl' like you doesn't belong hanging out with those preppies."

She smiled lightly and decided talking to him would be alright. "You don't have to worry about that."

Picking up on her hesitation to speak, Bender only nodded, then started walking away. A few moments later she did the same.

"Hey Mom! We're home!" Mary, Brians sister called. Shortly after their mother came to greet them.

"How are my kids doing? I made you some snacks in the kitchen. Come on, you can eat them while you do your homework."

"Do I _have_ to do it now?" Mary whined.

"Yes, now come on. Go." She ushered them down that hall and waited until they had their books out before putting two plates on the table. Brian looked at the slices of apple and wondered what other students got as "snacks".

"So how was school today?" His mother asked. His sisters mouth was currently full so he had to answer first.

"Fine I guess. I finished the project I was working for my physics class."

"Was it extra credit?"

He nodded, taking a bite of apple.

"Good. And what about that whole detention mess? Have you straightened that out? I hope you apologized for whatever you did that you refuse to tell me."

"Yes Mom. I told you it won't happen again."

"Well good. And what about you Mary? Did you have fun today?"

Brian rolled his eyes and looked away. Did she have fun? How are her friends? Those were the kinds of questions his sister got. They never asked her how far ahead she was with homework; whether she had asked for extra credit; nothing like that. He knew he was older, so they pushed him more and that was fine, but there was an obvious difference in treatment. As long as he could remember, he was pushed for better grades, feeling like his life was judged by his report card. Meanwhile Mary got above a 70 on her tests and their parents were thrilled.

"-now if only your brother here would make some friends." He heard his mom saying. His sister giggled.

"I have friends." He told them with a sigh." I just can't bring them home because I'm afraid they'd end up having to study."

Mrs. Johnson looked at her son in shock. He'd always been so well behaved but ever since he'd gone to detention he'd been slipping, making sarcastic comments and throwing rude looks at both she and her husband.

"Well, next time you want to bring someone over, go ahead. I promise not to bother you. But if you start bringing girls over you better believe that bedroom store is staying open."

Brian smiled and nodded cheerily. "Don't worry Mom. I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now. I know I have to focus on school early if I'm gonna get a scholarship."

"That's my boy... But really sweetie, if you want to have some friends over, you can." They both smiled at each other briefly, but were interupted by a sudden scream. Seconds later Mary walked in, dragging something behind her.

"Mommy! Susie is broken! And wet! She's broken amd wet!"

Susie was her gloworm that she'd insisted on having since everyone else in her class already did.

"Sweetie, where'd you find her?"

"In the basket." She sniffed. "The one in the living room." Her mother bit her lip worriedly.

"Oh honey, I must have thrown her in with the laundry. Did you leave her with your clothes again?" Mary shrugged as her eyes cast downward. "You see. This is why I told you not to leave so many messes."

The notion that she had in some way been responsible for the cruel fate inflicted on Susie was met with tears, followed by heavy screaming. After a few minutes her mother relented.

"Okay, we'll get-"She had to raise her voice to be heard. "We'll get you a new one, alright?"

Immediately the tears subsided and Brian scoffed. Yep, definitely preferencial treatment.


	8. In The Dark

**Don't You**

Chapter Eight: In The Dark

Claire sat with Ashley and Katie in their math class, pretending to pay attention while they passed notes back and forth. Each wrote with a different colored pen, passing a notebook between them each time the teacher turned her back. Together they were putting together the image of the perfect outfit, and planning out their shopping strategy to find each of the articles as efficiently as possible. Cost was no object to them, but they took pride in their shopping prowess and ability to get anything they wanted from anywhere they went.

Briefly, Claire found herself sketching out an outfit for Allison, a combination of modern fashion and her oversized dark style. Once she realized what she was doing she scribbled it out with a quick note about the picture being ugly so that her friends wouldn't question the scratched out image.

Brian knocked on the physics lab door with an awkwards smile. Ms. Kralky looked up and he had to stop himself from laughing when he caught her face in profile and was reminded of Allison's description of her. Truly, he had to admit, her nose was long and curved into something that resembled a beak.

"Can I help you Brian?"

"Uh, yeah. I know I haven't been helping you as much lately so I thought maybe there might be some extra credit work I could do again."

His teacher smiled and rose from her desk to stand a few feet from him. "I had noticed that you've been more quiet in class. Is something wrong?"

"N-no. Nothing really I mean. I just haven't been focus. Or focused as much rather. I'm still very much focused on school, which is why I'm here." Brian closed his mouth and tightened his jaw. Whay did he always talk so much when he was nervous?

"As a matter of fact I do have something you could work on." She walked back to her desk and shuffled through her papers until she found what she wanted. "It's intended for advanced physics students looking for AP credit. Since you're only a junior you aren't eligible for the credit, but it would be good practice for when you can take the class. Why don't you look it over and tell me what you think on Monday?"

"Sure." Brian took the paper and nodded quickly before leaving the room. Sixth period had already started and Allison was probably in the lunch room already waiting for him. Once he went into the cafeteria he wouldn't be able to leave, but more than anything he wanted to get some studying in. His entire routine had been thrust into chaos that week and he wanted to get back into it.

Luckily, Allison saw him before he went in and he was able to beckon her over. Somehow she lacked any fear of the guards and simply walked out un-noticed. Together they headed down to the library where he set up to work on what Ms. Kralky had given him while Allison spent the period flipping through old school newspapers.

For Andrew, it was a day or hard training and slaps on the back as the wrestling team prepared for their next match. He was pulled out of class for an additional pep-talk from his coach, explaining to him how important a win was the next day. He'd heard the same speech a half dozen times that day, starting with his father that morning, so he managed to tune it out and watch what was going on outside the gym office. At one point he caught sight of Bender heading out the fire exit with some friends and he briefly wondered if Bender knew what kind of freedom he had.

That night Allison decided to try eating with her family again. None of them spoke to each other about it, she simply sat in one of the empty dining room chairs and waited while her mother silently brought out a plate and silverware for her.

She'd read in the school paper that there was a wrestling match being held the next day, and apparently Andrew was expected to be the star of the show. Since she was considered making a leap and actually attending a school function, doing something "small" like eating at home seemed like a good step. As she made her way through her small portions, she was surprised to hear her father's voice.

"Your mother and I are going away again."

Allison looked up and found both of her parents focused on their food. For a moment she thought she'd imagined it until he glanced at her quickly.

"Where?" She managed to ask, trying to clear her throat which always seemed to get dry in situations like these.

"The Phillipeans. For work."

Short; to the point; but he was speaking. She considered questioning him further, but the fear that it might bother him and keep him from talking to her in the future made her hold back. No one else said a word for the remainder of the night, but at least it was a start..

Bender crushed a walnut over the top of his dresser, flicking the crumbs off of the smooth wood and onto the old musty carpet of his bedroom. Through the door he could hear the TV on downstairs and the sound of his father yelling at whoever was playing to get their defense in line. It seemed like no matter what the season, there was a football game or something on every night. It didn't matter to him personally, since it kept the old man busy for a while anyway.

Suddenly he heard his mother calling down the hall into the livingroom.

"Hon. Tommorow's the last day of the month, so we have to put out the recyclables." His father growled something and John listened as her mother gave up eventually and did it herself.

_'Last day of March? So then Sunday's April 1st.'_

April Fools Day had become a major event for he and his friends over the past few years. In fact he was surprised no one had mentioned it during school. It was their one chance to torment Shermer's upright citizens who got off way to easy for the rest of the year. With a grin he thought of the perfect girl to target this year and rolled off his bed.

Out in the hall he could hear the television even clearer, along with the new sound of tin can and glass bottles clinking together. He walked slowly into his parents room, careful to avoid the creaky plank of wook by the bathroom, and went in to use their phone.

"Yeah Nate? What's up? Who's over there?"

On the other end he could hear a series of laughs and whispers. The bastards were getting high and hadn't bothered to invite him. From what he could tell there were a few girls with them too.

"Yeah." Nate finally answered. "Joe and Craig came over and everyone else showed up after. You should come by man. Michelle is here and she's looking for you if you know what I mean."

Bender laughed and pictured the dark haired girl, decked out in leather and chains, trying her hardest to be more punk than anyone else around. "Hey, tell her she's gonna have to find some other guy to hook up with. I gotta go hang with Vernon at seven tomorrow."

"Right. The record breaking two month detention. Have fun with that."

"Whatever asshole. Look, I'm in that shit all day tomorrow but we gotta hook up on Sunday, right?"

"Yeah, definitely. You got something in mind?"

"Absolutely. We're going straight into preppie town to have some fun."


	9. Come See

AN: I know, I know, I said I hate authors notes, but I cheated you guys and you deserve some sort of explanation. Props to Anna for calling me on using chapter 8 as filler. Since I felt guilty about that, and since I really wasn't happy with the chapter personally, I have gone back and reworked it a bit and tried to add in some more actually plot to the chapter. It's up to you if you want to go back and re-read the new version, but I tried not to add anything too crucial so it isn't 100 necessary.

I know I also promised that this chapter would be up much sooner than it actually was. The chapter was honestly written when I posted 8, but I needed to research a few details before posting (some of which I just gave up on and eliminated) and with all the things going on in my life I just didn't have the will or desire to get it done, so I apologize for that. Hopefully you'll all find this chapter better than the previous one and I can get some real interaction going between the characters soon which I know you've all been looking for

**Don't You**

Chapter Nine: Come See

Saturday morning found Claire sitting alone in her bed. The week before she'd been forced to wake early for detention but this week was different. Now she sat awake staring across the room, waiting for the minutes to pass by.

Her stomach hurt, and she was tired but couldn't sleep despite that. Detention had been a week ago, so her feelings shouldn't have felt so raw by now, but the mere notion of it being Saturday was enough to bring it all back.

She smiled to herself, remembering that Bender must now be on is way to school, ready to crack jokes and get everyone else in trouble. Would he talk to his new detention companions like he had with them? Now that she thought about it, he hadn't really told them much at all. He had given them a glimpse of what his life was like at home, but after that he merely sat back and listened, save for when he yelled at her.

With a sigh she flopped back in her bed to stare at the ceiling briefly before getting up. Walking over to her dresser, she took down the jewelry box and sat on the floor with it.

Under the red velvet liner she found the earring John had given her; a silver lightening bolt. She rolled it between her fingers and wondered what she should do with it. She couldn't just get rid of it, it was too important of a gesture for that, but keeping it just meant having a constant reminder of what she was willing to give up to maintain her popularity.

_'No'_ she told herself. _'It's not about that. What would my parents think if I started dating him? Besides he's a playboy... All those girls in his wallet. Why would I want a guy like that? Besides, he hasn't exactly approached me about all of this.'_

It was a stretch, flimsy excuses at best, an attempt to convince herself that she wasn't so shallow. She could do what she wanted, regardless of what her friends thought. She spoke to Allison, didn't she?

But what else had she done? Shot down Brian, strained her friendship with Andy, and avoided Bender at all costs. She could have at least said hi that day in the parking lot.

With a growl of frustration she tossed the box aside, cringing when it clattered against the wall, it's contents clinking together as they spilled out.

"Claire, honey? Was that you?"

She sighed deeply. "Yeah, it was me. Sorry."

"Alright... Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Dad."

She waited to make sure he was finished talking before getting up and going in to the shower, carefully stepping around the pile of jewelry. At the very least she could use this time to get ready early for a change.

"All right Champ. Rise and shine. Today's the big day."

Andrew nodded unethusiastically and sat up. His father greeted him the same way before every match. How many more days could be "big days" before the term became meaningless?

"So, ready to knock 'em dead?" His father asked while they made their way downstairs where his mother would have her "special wrestlers breakfast" waiting for him.

"Yeah, sure Dad."

He was actually looking forward to today's match despite his recent feelings of regret over having spent so much of his life doing something that no longer truly brought him joy. They were playing against Maine North High and he was matched against Mike Moyer, a wrestler who'd come close to beating him and nearly cost him the championship last year. Now he had to prove that his win then had been deserved.

"Hi." He greeted his mother who was busily cleaning dishes.

"Oh, hi Dear." She greeted quickly. Andrew wasn't sure if she was talking to him, or his father. All too often she lumped the two of them together as one person.

He had known for a long time that his father was "living vicariously" through him, but he wasn't sure when the line between them started to blur. "Andy's win" became "our win." His mother was no longer proud of her son, but rather, "both her boys." It was like his life was disappearing completely. His only opportunity for change was to get into a good school that was _far_ from home, and the prospect of that helped drive him to do well now.

Every day he stayed after school for practice. Once home it was time for homework and studying. On weekends that he didn't have a meet, he and his father would go to the gym themselves in an attempt to "get ahead."

He liked meet days, since afterwards was the only time he ever experienced any freedom.

He and his father ate together quickly. It was always a brief meal so that it wouldn't sit heavily in his stomach. Afterwards he'd shower and they'd rush out the door to get to the school early.

"It shows good initiative." His father would say. Andrew suspected that the elder Clark was also hoping to catch a recruitor or college coach there to chat with "casually."

When they got to the school, a thought occured to him. Only a floor away there was undoubtedly a new group of students, Bender included, making fun of Vernon and desperately trying to pass the time.

"Hey, Andrew." His coach greeted, coming out of his small office. "Early as usual eh? That's what I like to see."

Andrew waited for his father to inevitably answer for him.

"Of course he's early. The boy gets so excited he practically drags me out the door before sunrise."

The two older men laughed while Andrew slowly stepped away, hoping to get away from the conversation. The two of them could go on and on, bs-ing their way through compliments about him in an attempt to make themselves feel better. The couch wouldn't say "Andy's good," but rather "Andy's well trained," essentially taking credit for his wins. His father would find some way to do the same.

Andrew didn't even notice the quips at this point except on days like today when he was feeling particularly self pitying. It was easier to disregard it and play along.

A small group of students looked up as a muffled cheer came through the walls. Richard Vernon looked up from his seat and smiled almost sadistically.

"You hear that? The three of you could be down in the gym right now, enjoying yourselves like the rest of your fellow students. But instead you chose to come here and spend the day with me, thinking about what you've done."

"I believe I recall you asking _me_ to come today." Bender smarted. The other two boys, whose names were unknown to him, snickered.

"Oh yes. I hope you enjoy Mr. Bender's humor here today. After all it's because of him that I've chosen to stay in the library with you all day. Apparently he though it would be fun to break the glass of the Foreign Language room door last Saturday."

"I told you it wasn't me."

"Yes, yes. I remember now. Andrew Clark, a school letterman representing his school at this very moment, did it on a whim. Do you really expect me to believe that?"

John shrugged and leaned back casually. He already knew that none of the administrators would believe what he said, so he just had to ride it out. After the events of the past week, he could see that the vice principal was tired of dealing with him.

Another cheer rang out and he sat quietly, listening. He could care less about the actual wrestling match, but he was certain Andrew was down there. Was Allison somewhere in the bleachers watching him? Was Claire?

His face darkened visibly at the last thought. He was still upset by the way she'd ignored him in the lot the other day. Not only that but there seemed to be some history between she and Andrew. Afterall they'd been considering going to some party togther the weekend before, right?

It didn't really matter, and worrying over it would do him no good. But still there was something about her, or what they'd shared, that made merely thinking about her... special.

He snorted out loud, prompting Verson to look up at him briefly before returning his attention to his Ridgid catalog. Bender was starting to go soft, using pathetic words like "special" to describe a girl, a chick. Hadn't his friends coined the term "hang and bang" to describe his usual routine with women? Granted it was a bit of an exaggeration, but still, it wasn't that far from the truth.

Allison shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the flat wooden bleacher she was sitting on was beginning to bother her even more than the crowds. Everyone around her was so loud... And so close. She wasn't used to being in such close proximity with so many people, and she was starting to regret coming.

But, she couldn't help going to the match that day. Even though she tried to deny it, if only to protect her feelings, she wanted to see Andrew again. Not because he was popular, in fact she would have preferred that he not be. Not because he was good looking either, although, she thought with a smile, it _was_ an added bonus. No, she wanted to see him because she hoped that maybe, he wanted to see her.

It wasn't that he'd necessarily made an extra effort from the beginning or anything like that, but he was the first to speak with her; to _really_ speak with her that is. She knew she could have been idealizing her memories, but she was certain he had been looking at her from the start. What sparked his interest in her didn't matter, it only mattered that it was there.

So now she was stuck, in the very back row, leaning against the gym wall, feeling like everyone and everything was closing in on her. Not only that, but she felt like she'd been there forever and Andy still hadn't gone up yet. She could see him sitting on the bench, smiling and talking to his teamates. He had a nice smile. He was wearing the blue tights John and Brian had teased him over and she giggled silently over it.

He wouldn't know she was there, but that was okay. Maybe it was for the best even. She didn't want to appear too eager after his earlier rejection.

She glanced along the bleachers to observe the rest of the crowd again. She recognized a few people from her classes, but didn't know their names. Further to the front were the overzealous parents and the "popular kids" she couldn't help but know. How she had longed to be part of a group like that in the past. Back when she sought the attention of everyone around her in the hope that her parents would look to see what all the fuss was about, and realize that they had a daughter.

Allison returned her attention to the bench where Andrew was talking to the coach. The previous match had apparently ended while she had been day dreaming, and from the look of the crowd, Shermer's wrestler had won.

"Oh my god! Look at these boots!"

Claire and the rest of her friends rushed over to see the black leather pumps Jennifer was looking at. In less than a minute, one of the sales clerks was there to help them.

"Would you like to try them on Miss?" He offered.

"We all would." Claire informed him, glancing around to make a head count of her friends. "We'll need one six, two sevens, a seven-and-a-half, and an eight-and-a-half."

"Right away ma'am."

The five girls sat on a nearby bench and carefully removed their shoes, then waited for the man to return, this time with several other employees.

"The six?" One offered, holding up a shoe box. Mary raised her hand slightly and held her foot out to him. He prompty knelt down and opened the box, while the others found their matches and began helping the girls with their boots. It was demeaning work, but girls like this came by all the time, carrying around Daddy's cash that they were happy to give away to a good looking employee or two who made that extra effort.

"All right folks, up next is the match you've been waiting for. From Maine North, we have Mike Moyer. And from Shermer High School, the rising star who became a letterman in his sophmore year, Andrew Clark!"

Andrew stood and walked to the center of the gym, soaking in the crowd's attention while sizing up his competition. Moyer had gotten a bit bigger, but then again, so had he.

They both positioned themselves and the ref started the match. Instantaneously Andy's mind switched into a somewhat automatic mode and he lunged at his opponent while the auditorium filled with cheers.

The two grappled, shifting about the boundary circle and struggling to attain the advantage. They were about equally matched in strength but Andy was certain there was a difference in skill and he had to take advantage of that.

Suddenly he found himself on top of his opponent, holding him down while the ref began the count. Ten seconds later he was standing triumphantly while the crowd cheered, their cries of admiration surrounding. In the front row of the nearest bench he could see his father smiling proudly.

As Allison stepped through the front door of her house, her mother rushed by with two pieces of luggage. Apparently they'd be leaving for their trip soon. The two women stopped briefly to make eye contact as each considered their next action.

"Where were you?" Her mother finally asked.

Allison was about to tell her mother the truth, but stopped herself. She was always afraid that is she started doing "normal" things like going to school games, they'd expect her to transform into the adorable socialite they'd always hoped for. She didn't need her mother to slip back into her old, chastising habits of pointing out all of her flaws that made her unpopular. Granted she wasn't in grade school anymore, but she didn't think she'd take the criticism any better now.

"Out." She moved passed the older woman quickly and retreated to the safety of her room to comtemplate if, perhaps, she was changing, and better yet, what for?

Claire waved goodbye to her friends as they walked down her drive to their own cars to head home. Juggling her bags she managed to open the front door and walked in, heading straight to her room.

As she tried to enter, the door pushed against something and she shoved it open, rushing in to put her newly purchased things on her bed. As she turned around her eyes scanned the floor to see what had blocked the door and rested on her fallen jewelry box.

Claire stared at it blanky and felt warm tears slowly begin to slide down her cheeks. She wiped them away quickly and smiled to herself.

_'Why am I crying?'_

The tears continued to form as she sat on the floor, feeling a mix of confusion and grief. There was a heaviness in her chest that she felt with each breath and she fought against it. A strange feeling told her that she had finally found out something was missing inside her, and that somehow she had known all along but never realized.

She was still crying as she picked out everything she would need for next day. Clothes, makeup, magazine to bring up appropriate topics... Things she worried about everyday that no longer seemed important. For the first time in a long while she wished she could just get up and not have to worry about so much.

Deciding to go the sleep early she slid into bed, the perfect outfit hanging off the edge of her dresser, but she didn't know if she'd have the heart to wear it.


End file.
